the big blue

i was curious to see how my gums were doing, so i lifted my big fat ass swollen upper lip with my finger--yes, it's that swollen that i can't even move my lip without assistance!--and what do i find?!?! and incredibly gnarly bruise on the under side of my lip. it's an intense shade of blue and purple. this bruise just may rival the bruise i got when i fractured my arm laying out for a frisbee in college. i. am. badass.