Sunday, January 5, 2014

to a blissful 2014.

2013 was memorable for less than glorious and glamorous events. for a substantial part of the year, it was clouded in sadness, confusion and a sense of helplessness. i knew that i would be OK, but, there were distressing moments that seemed to stretch too long into the same cycle of unfortunate miscommunication and depression. too absorbed and distracted by my emotions, i didn't know it at the time but i was desperately trying to control things that could not, should not and cannot be controlled. namely, other people, their actions and reactions.

thankfully, there is good news.

the good news, is that i've learned so much from this year of obstacles. these past 365 days have ultimately helped me to better understand myself, my values, goals, insecurities, vulnerabilities and how my past experiences shape my current, growing self. it's a work in progress and instead of shying away from the parts that i don't like or don't want to see, i'm giving myself a good honest look, a curious, non-judgmental check-up.

the other good news is that i'm learning more of how to let go of control. when i worry or become obsessive, my behavior shows me those utter neurotic tendencies. more often these days, instead of indulging in these (unnecessarily snowballing) emotions i realize how better equipped i am to pay attention to what i'm doing and then to tell myself to STOP. breathe. listen. feel. breathe. move on.

i can't control what others think of me and everyone has the freedom to form their own opinions regardless of how i feel, regardless of my perspective. i can and want to respect and honor both my path and the paths that are not mine. one is not better than the other. one is not more "right" than the other. i'm shifting my thinking habits.

the other night, a new friend shared his thoughts and reflections from 2013 and how he was working on letting go of something that held him back from 2013 and then, to fill in that space, what to invite in for 2014. i liked this simultaneous release and intention and i asked for his answers. he is letting go of distrust and allowing greatness.

i asked myself the same question. i am letting go of control and allowing unbridled, joyous FUN for this year. life is too short to be sad. happy new year.