relativity

i've been thinking recently about happiness and how relativity plays are a tricky part in that state of being. i'm trying to teach my students how to become more articulate, opinionated thinkers. i've tried to illustrate the importance of weighing both sides of the issue/question and then supporting their opinions with confident examples. "just because," i'm not sorry, is not a good enough answer. and so, i'm applying the same thought process to my own issues and questions, but, relativity complicates matters.

my job has become a major source of frustration, angst, and annoyance. i work hard at it, preparing, planning, doing. it wears me down, i'm starting to burn the fuck out. and just when i think i've run empty on motivation, i have the most amusing and heartwarming moments with my students that remind me of why i do what i do. for the laughs, for the unpredictable connections the students have with me, with each other. that, my friends, is the icing on the cake, the cream of the crop, the wacka wacka wacka. but, is it worth it in these circumstances? relatively speaking...

i'm beginning to contemplate my options. i dislike feeling like i'm losing sight of the reasons why i came to korea. last night, for the first time in weeks, i opened up my korean books and studied. it felt great! as i was getting ready to go to bed, (at 4am) i got the sudden urge to study and it felt incredible to actually DO it instead of only thinking about it. (then i wonder, am i just a lazyass for not making myself study at other times?!) i'm recognizing, yet again, to take control of my actions and own up to my choices with kindness, patience, and determination.