t-2 days

in 2 days i'll undergo dental implant surgery. it's been a while in the making, an exhaustive emotionally charged undertaking in trying to find a dentist that i trust. i traveled throughout seoul to 6 different dental clinics. i gauged prices, critiqued offices, and scrutinized information. this was done in mostly korean. x-rays and mirrors were incredibly helpful. there were a lot of words i didn't know. however, i finally decided on a dental clinic that is conveniently located within a 15-minute bus ride from my house. this clinic also received a thumbs-up from friends who've not received implants, but other tooth services. an added bonus.

so what exactly are dental implants? they effectively replace lost teeth. i lost my left front tooth (no. 8) and the tooth directly next to it, tooth no. 7 as a senior in high school. it's a long story, and i'll revisit that at some other time, but suffice it to say that a hard floor, shrieks, shock, denial and plenty of novocaine were involved.

thursday, at 10:30am, my dentist will open up my gum lining to get to the bone of my gums. yeah, they're essentially going to skin my gums open to get a real good look at the density of my bone underneath. it's been 10 years since i've actually had teeth or any other root like structure in my gums, so there has been significant, but not irreparable bone loss. my dentist will gauge at that time, what one of things two scenarios will be mine.

1. drill two holes, insert two titanium rods into my gums while also giving me a bone graft, bone material that will congeal with my existing bone and strengthen the rods that have been drilled. YES, DRILLED. in my mouth.

or

2. simply give me a bone graft if i don't have enough already existing bone mass to support the titanium rods that will be, ahem, YES, DRILLED into my gums at a later time.

i'm hoping that scenario 1 will happen. giddy up! it's been 10 years, 10 YEARS, since i've had a full set of teeth in my mouth and i am ready! now, i will not have permanent teeth right away. after the rods have been drilled, (alright alright, i'll stop with the drilling!) and the bone graft completed, i have to wait. i have to wait anywhere from 3-6 months until the bone graft has healed and osseointegration (osseointegration n. defintion: is the direct structural and functional connection between living bone and the surface of a load-bearing artificial implant, typically made of titanium. It is a property virtually unique to titanium and hydroxylapatite, and has enhanced the science of medical bone, and joint replacement techniques.) is complete.

they'll give me different falsies--i have no idea what they'll look like, but i hope they'll be a decent pair!--to wear in the meantime.

am i scared? fuck yes.
and i excited? hell yeah.