i am in it. and i'm allowing myself to feel the draining effects of homesickness, to the point where it's, maybe, borderline unhealthy. it is what it is. i've been indulging my desire to sleep more, work a bit less, cry when i want to, become more of a domestic hermit rather than a party animal. i'm tired of going out, or maybe more correctly, i'm tired of feeling pressure (who is this pressure from? myself?) to go out, or even care to go out. i feel like i'm on the verge of a temper tantrum, only this kind isn't about wanting a toy or candy, it's more of the mental emotional variety. one where i want my friends who know (KNOOOOOOOOW!!!) me, who know exactly what to say (or just as importantly, what NOT to say) to simply be with me.
my birthday has surprised me...i didn't think i'd be so homesick so suddenly, but, with the influx of incredible love and thoughtfulness from home, it's actually made me miss everyone even more. so for the time being, i know i'm sulking, but, sometimes that's just what you have to do until it's out of your system. that and take lots of naps.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
i am soooooooooooo lucky!!!!!
this morning, i went to the maintenance office of my apt building (yesterday, they gave me a paper notice, tucked into the tiny crack of my doorframe)and discovered that i had not, 1 or 2, nor 3, but 4 (COUNT 'EM FOUR!!!) packages for me. holy shit balls! i was tickled pink and so incredibly moved by the generosity and thoughtfulness of my friends and family that i cried--really, i was crying and smiling and laughing. lord, it felt like crazy crying, i was feeling so incredibly loved and wonderful!--from happiness.
thank you, thank you, thank you everyone for your continued encouragement, love, warmth and humor. i am simply in awe.
thank you, thank you, thank you everyone for your continued encouragement, love, warmth and humor. i am simply in awe.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
anyang
my friend, yumin, recently visited korea to celebrate her brother's marriage! we reconnected in anyang and had a blast chatting, laughing and dancing.
catch up...
how is it almost the end of january?! my birthday is approaching, it's this weekend! it is during this time of year, that i often consciously reflect, remembering pivotal moments from the year previous--i was in new zealand!--and wondering how to direct my energy for another 12 new months of laughter, playfulness, growth and wisdom--with curiosity and gentleness.
today was my first private lesson with nami at the korean language academy in gangnam. it was a lot of fun and it made me realize that i know more than i think i do--nice, nice! but, (baaaah!) i often forget to apply the rules of what i learn in practice. so i'm good at korean language theory, but need to improve on the delivery. done and done. i'm on it. i think being a student will help me to become a better teacher. our instructor, is a very sweet, easy to talk to, wonderfully encouraging woman. our interactions were like exchanges of lively smart bubbles. every time i said something correctly, i was rewarded with praise. i became very aware of just how meaningful a simple, "good job!" can be. we reviewed object particles, subject particles, how to conjugate verbs and vocabulary. (for example: is that a clock? yes, it is a clock.) we're also learning the most honorific form of korean (think the "usted" in spanish) so i'll have to consult with my korean friends to get the slang versions. i'm building a solid foundation for this korean language house of mine! other good news: i got accepted into the seoul national university's language program which commences in the beginning of march and continues until early may. luckily, my friend chris is also committing himself to this draining schedule with me, so we can commute and study together. power in numbers, baby, power in numbers.
work is still going well. my students are easily entertained and amuse me when they get so eager for me to check their notebooks so i can draw them their prize illustration. the past week, it was a bee or a ladybug. last week, i drew a picture of piece of toast and get this, a meatball! (it was related to the story we were reading...) sponge bob has been requested, i'll have to practice. that'll really wow them!
other happenings: presently, i'm leery and wary of korean men. the guy i thought was super cool and cute turned out to be mcnasty. in short: grrrrrooooossssssss!!!! and i've had random interactions with other men that are giving my ko-dar (korean sketchiness factor radar) alarm! back-up-off-a-me sucka! the cultural differences are beginning to get under my skin and aggravate me. i'm trying to balance my awareness of them while also trying to not let them affect me too much. it's during these times, that i especially miss home. i miss you, my family and friends!!! i wish you could all visit me on my birthday!!!!
today was my first private lesson with nami at the korean language academy in gangnam. it was a lot of fun and it made me realize that i know more than i think i do--nice, nice! but, (baaaah!) i often forget to apply the rules of what i learn in practice. so i'm good at korean language theory, but need to improve on the delivery. done and done. i'm on it. i think being a student will help me to become a better teacher. our instructor, is a very sweet, easy to talk to, wonderfully encouraging woman. our interactions were like exchanges of lively smart bubbles. every time i said something correctly, i was rewarded with praise. i became very aware of just how meaningful a simple, "good job!" can be. we reviewed object particles, subject particles, how to conjugate verbs and vocabulary. (for example: is that a clock? yes, it is a clock.) we're also learning the most honorific form of korean (think the "usted" in spanish) so i'll have to consult with my korean friends to get the slang versions. i'm building a solid foundation for this korean language house of mine! other good news: i got accepted into the seoul national university's language program which commences in the beginning of march and continues until early may. luckily, my friend chris is also committing himself to this draining schedule with me, so we can commute and study together. power in numbers, baby, power in numbers.
work is still going well. my students are easily entertained and amuse me when they get so eager for me to check their notebooks so i can draw them their prize illustration. the past week, it was a bee or a ladybug. last week, i drew a picture of piece of toast and get this, a meatball! (it was related to the story we were reading...) sponge bob has been requested, i'll have to practice. that'll really wow them!
other happenings: presently, i'm leery and wary of korean men. the guy i thought was super cool and cute turned out to be mcnasty. in short: grrrrrooooossssssss!!!! and i've had random interactions with other men that are giving my ko-dar (korean sketchiness factor radar) alarm! back-up-off-a-me sucka! the cultural differences are beginning to get under my skin and aggravate me. i'm trying to balance my awareness of them while also trying to not let them affect me too much. it's during these times, that i especially miss home. i miss you, my family and friends!!! i wish you could all visit me on my birthday!!!!
lumix
my new camera and i are still only just getting to know each other, but, from our initial meeting at the camera counter in yongsan, i knew we'd have a good long lasting relationship. time for photo taking and photo playing...
new 'do!
i had the sudden (yet it was internally brewing for a while...) urge to get my hair cut yesterday. and like most of my other hair cravings, i satisfied it quickly, as in this morning. say hello to me with a bob! i want my bangs to grow out and sweep across my face. i'm moving closer and closer to the shorter spectrum...don't be surprised if you see me with a faux hawk next!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
brain-ache
yesterday, i spent the morning attempting to complete my written korean level placement exam. um, who felt like a moron? yeah, that would be me. (for whatever random reason, the inconsiderate cell phone man jingle just popped into my head...) i got an idea of how some of my students might feel when i see them with blank faces during exam time. hummina hummina hummina. after bombing the written and reading exam, i did a dramatically better job on the speaking section. out of 6 levels, i placed into the 3rd level for speaking! (surprised? yeah, me too!) and into the 1st level for reading and writing. (this however, is not surprising. girlfriend needs to learn how to read!) i went to the korean language academy in gangnam with nami and we are both excited to get our language lessons on! we've signed up for 2 private lessons together so as to be on par with the other students when we begin our classes on january 31st. hooray and oofda in the same breath: hoofda!
afterwards, we went to yongsan, a place in seoul well known for it's camera selection. at yongsan, we met a super nice and funny (definitely not sketchy) camera salesman. he took the time to show us the pros and cons of three different compact digital cameras: casio exlim, the canon ixy, and panasonic lumix. we compared shutter speeds, lcd screen qualities, macro functions (i'm such a big fan of this!) and color quality. my friends know that i'm a canon slut. but...in this case, i opted to go with the camera with highest color quality, and that is the lumix, with the leica lens. yummers. mmmmhmmm! i spoke in primarily korean (yay!) but the concentration from our morning's activities paired with the overwhelming amount of cameras on display gave me a brain-ache to the max. nami and i realized that with our brains combined, we make one hellavuaverage korean!
when i showed the salesman my camera (canon powershot A75) he was surprised at the sheer size of it. it's humungous compared to the cameras nowadays--dang! technology! canon powershot, you know i'll always love you so please hold no grudges on the new camera, mmmmmmmmkay!? now, i'm pretty much broke, but happy! hey hey! happy birthday to me! these days, i'm a guitar playing, korean language taking, camera happy soul.
afterwards, we went to yongsan, a place in seoul well known for it's camera selection. at yongsan, we met a super nice and funny (definitely not sketchy) camera salesman. he took the time to show us the pros and cons of three different compact digital cameras: casio exlim, the canon ixy, and panasonic lumix. we compared shutter speeds, lcd screen qualities, macro functions (i'm such a big fan of this!) and color quality. my friends know that i'm a canon slut. but...in this case, i opted to go with the camera with highest color quality, and that is the lumix, with the leica lens. yummers. mmmmhmmm! i spoke in primarily korean (yay!) but the concentration from our morning's activities paired with the overwhelming amount of cameras on display gave me a brain-ache to the max. nami and i realized that with our brains combined, we make one hellavuaverage korean!
when i showed the salesman my camera (canon powershot A75) he was surprised at the sheer size of it. it's humungous compared to the cameras nowadays--dang! technology! canon powershot, you know i'll always love you so please hold no grudges on the new camera, mmmmmmmmkay!? now, i'm pretty much broke, but happy! hey hey! happy birthday to me! these days, i'm a guitar playing, korean language taking, camera happy soul.
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