lately, i feel like i've been all over the place.
ever since i came back from malaysia, i feel like life has been on super speed. besides training for work (going through orientation, meeting new co-workers, preparing materials, planning curriculums for an entire year!) i've started packing up my belongings again. i'll be moving to my own apartment in about a week and i'm incredibly excited to have my OWN private space again! i've enjoyed my interactions with my various roommates, but, i realized that ultimately, i like being in my own space, the autonomy, the creativity, the flexibility, more. with, of course, the option of invited company. option being the key word.
the gratitude i felt while i was experiencing malaysia is something that i've been consciously remembering during my daily routines back home. i have a renewed and recharged sense of appreciation for my family and friends who both near and far, have warmed my heart and made me feel cared for and loved with their simple acts of kindness. be it a phone call, a text, an email, replacing a missing pink hat, a hug--always, more hugs please!--love of eating, love of yoga-ing, love of laughing and embracing life, practicing positive and pro-active thinking.
i've recently met someone who shares my silliness, love of photography and food, and proclivity towards thought-provoking conversations. we're dating. and so far, it's been a lot of fun! i am especially drawn to his openness, at how easy it is for him to communicate and be communicative with me. i'm prone to over-thinking and over-analyzing and instead of allowing myself to fall into old habits, i'm trying to just be, be aware in the present without any unnecessary concerns about what is unknown. i'm working on not rushing the unknown into the known, it will come, in time.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
erratic and unfavorable
i'm in the midst of training at my new place of employment, a purportedly highly sought after academy for students and of course their mothers. i'm singling out training as the major reason for my erratic and wholly unfavorable sleep schedule. the most i've slept on any given night this week was a measly 5 or 6 hours. 6--meh, less than average. but 5? poor. 5 hours of sleep on repeat and you've got a knackered chong by friday--which is today. you're talking to a girl who can literally fall asleep upon direct pillow contact and continue until the alarm goes off...but today, por ejemplo, i went to bed at 2am and woke up, rather suddenly around 6:20-ish. then, i thought, "hey, maybe i just need to write it out, get this annoyance/concern off my chest..." and then maybe, just maybe, i can gain entry into slumberland once more before today's training session at 2pm.
training will last for a total of 12 days. if you do the math, today is day 5. actually, no math is really involved, it's just literally my 5th day of training. so far, the training itself isn't terribly difficult, there's just so much information to pay attention to and absorb. thankfully, all the teachers are saying the same thing--so at least there is cohesion and fluency among the staff and the system--albeit adding their unique takes on what they've found to be advantageous and disadvantageous. it's a shit ton of information. i realized that within these observations, i already have everything i need in terms of teaching, it's just a matter of adjusting to the system. adjustments, yes, but i also realized that this job, like any other job, is a sick twisted game. (and i loathe participating, but participation is unavoidable, unless i want to be unemployed, which is a big fat no thank you.) the game: be an effective teacher and if possible, preemptively appease the parents. i typically adore games, though not computer games, i'm talking board games people! but these types of games annoy/frustrate/tire me. they are soooooooo obviously not board games. i'll be alright. of course i'll be alright, i just have to remind myself to choose to not let it get to me. bedtime again.
training will last for a total of 12 days. if you do the math, today is day 5. actually, no math is really involved, it's just literally my 5th day of training. so far, the training itself isn't terribly difficult, there's just so much information to pay attention to and absorb. thankfully, all the teachers are saying the same thing--so at least there is cohesion and fluency among the staff and the system--albeit adding their unique takes on what they've found to be advantageous and disadvantageous. it's a shit ton of information. i realized that within these observations, i already have everything i need in terms of teaching, it's just a matter of adjusting to the system. adjustments, yes, but i also realized that this job, like any other job, is a sick twisted game. (and i loathe participating, but participation is unavoidable, unless i want to be unemployed, which is a big fat no thank you.) the game: be an effective teacher and if possible, preemptively appease the parents. i typically adore games, though not computer games, i'm talking board games people! but these types of games annoy/frustrate/tire me. they are soooooooo obviously not board games. i'll be alright. of course i'll be alright, i just have to remind myself to choose to not let it get to me. bedtime again.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
