Sunday, July 19, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
timing
i've always known timing to be a crucial component to a good relationship...i now believe it's 99.9% of it.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
we talked...
and then i cried.
i'm tired of feeling angry and i'm REALLY tired of feeling sad.
in an effort to make the heartache and pain go away quickly, i googled, "how to get over someone." yes, i know. i'm SUCH a nerd. there wasn't much that i didn't already know, but one website actually suggested that you find someone new:
"You need to find someone new. This is not going to be the one, they're only good for right now. Find someone nice to cuddle and go to movies and dinners with and when you're done, then end it. I know this seems harsh...and it is harsh, but enough's been done to you so you have every right to dish a little out yourself. Don't think of it as using, think if it as borrowing.. you're going to give it back when you're done."
WHAT THE FUCK?!?! but enough's been done to you so you have every right to dish a little out yourself. you've got to be fucking kidding me! please people, for the love of pat sajack, do not--DO NOT--heed that advice. where is there any compassion in that? whoever wrote that shit didn't and obviously still doesn't get that two wrongs do not make a right...and intentionally doing something just to "get back" is the most selfish and heartless of actions. and you wonder why rebounds occur! this fuckface is actually endorsing it and then justifying the action by saying you'll give it back when you're done--people are not objects to be used and then returned (which is really a nicer way of saying, discarded). sometimes, the way people think (and don't think--come on, people, THINK!) really scares me.
uhhhh, so no worries for me in that department. i'm not thinking of getting back, i'm only thinking of getting over.
i'm tired of feeling angry and i'm REALLY tired of feeling sad.
in an effort to make the heartache and pain go away quickly, i googled, "how to get over someone." yes, i know. i'm SUCH a nerd. there wasn't much that i didn't already know, but one website actually suggested that you find someone new:
"You need to find someone new. This is not going to be the one, they're only good for right now. Find someone nice to cuddle and go to movies and dinners with and when you're done, then end it. I know this seems harsh...and it is harsh, but enough's been done to you so you have every right to dish a little out yourself. Don't think of it as using, think if it as borrowing.. you're going to give it back when you're done."
WHAT THE FUCK?!?! but enough's been done to you so you have every right to dish a little out yourself. you've got to be fucking kidding me! please people, for the love of pat sajack, do not--DO NOT--heed that advice. where is there any compassion in that? whoever wrote that shit didn't and obviously still doesn't get that two wrongs do not make a right...and intentionally doing something just to "get back" is the most selfish and heartless of actions. and you wonder why rebounds occur! this fuckface is actually endorsing it and then justifying the action by saying you'll give it back when you're done--people are not objects to be used and then returned (which is really a nicer way of saying, discarded). sometimes, the way people think (and don't think--come on, people, THINK!) really scares me.
uhhhh, so no worries for me in that department. i'm not thinking of getting back, i'm only thinking of getting over.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
no better way...
to say it, other than it just sucks. SUCKS. IT SUCKS. SUUUUUUUUCKS.
relationships can bring out the best and ugliest qualities in people. it's a dangerous exhilarating roller-coaster of adrenaline and emotions. you feel high. you feel sick. you can die.
the beginnings are always euphoric and full of disbelief. is this possible? pinch me, i think i'm dreaming. i can't believe it! is this real? the likelihood of meeting someone who isn't 1) certifiably crazy 2) a dumbass 3) married 4) married with kids 5) gay or 6) all of the above seems like a feat worth celebrating in and of itself. it's easy to meet people, but it's very difficult to meet a person to connect with, mentally, physically and emotionally. let me say that again. it feels damn near impossible to meet someone who gets you, understands you, and wants to be with you. AND hold your hand. AND kiss your neck. AND tickle your tummy. AND you want to do all the same things. AND you finish each other's sentences and make puns, because they're punny.
so it just sucks, when the ride feels like it has been cut short. it's like you're dangling at the top, upside down, feeling nauseous and crying. an unresolved past, even if it's not your own, has a way of sneaking up on you. it chooses for you what you'd rather not do, but must, because there's no other way.
i must admit, that a part of me wanted to go jerry springer on his ass. "i'm the best you've ever haaaaaaaad!" but that's such bullshit and in fact, that's not even what i want to say, at all. those are words that arise from a place of anger and disappointment, confusion and jealousy. that's ugly. when we're upset, and intense emotions are involved, we can get ugly. after writing a really harsh, uncensored rant within seconds of transmission, i realized that i have no need to get ugly. i got ugly and it didn't really make me feel that much better. (okay. it did. but it didn't last very long.) i'm terribly sad, hurt and disappointed.
it didn't work out. so what do i do? it sucks, (IT SUCKS REEEEAAAAAAAAL BAD!) but, i move on.
relationships can bring out the best and ugliest qualities in people. it's a dangerous exhilarating roller-coaster of adrenaline and emotions. you feel high. you feel sick. you can die.
the beginnings are always euphoric and full of disbelief. is this possible? pinch me, i think i'm dreaming. i can't believe it! is this real? the likelihood of meeting someone who isn't 1) certifiably crazy 2) a dumbass 3) married 4) married with kids 5) gay or 6) all of the above seems like a feat worth celebrating in and of itself. it's easy to meet people, but it's very difficult to meet a person to connect with, mentally, physically and emotionally. let me say that again. it feels damn near impossible to meet someone who gets you, understands you, and wants to be with you. AND hold your hand. AND kiss your neck. AND tickle your tummy. AND you want to do all the same things. AND you finish each other's sentences and make puns, because they're punny.
so it just sucks, when the ride feels like it has been cut short. it's like you're dangling at the top, upside down, feeling nauseous and crying. an unresolved past, even if it's not your own, has a way of sneaking up on you. it chooses for you what you'd rather not do, but must, because there's no other way.
i must admit, that a part of me wanted to go jerry springer on his ass. "i'm the best you've ever haaaaaaaad!" but that's such bullshit and in fact, that's not even what i want to say, at all. those are words that arise from a place of anger and disappointment, confusion and jealousy. that's ugly. when we're upset, and intense emotions are involved, we can get ugly. after writing a really harsh, uncensored rant within seconds of transmission, i realized that i have no need to get ugly. i got ugly and it didn't really make me feel that much better. (okay. it did. but it didn't last very long.) i'm terribly sad, hurt and disappointed.
it didn't work out. so what do i do? it sucks, (IT SUCKS REEEEAAAAAAAAL BAD!) but, i move on.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
que sera, sera
things in life are never really certain. sometimes it's the most quietly rewarding things that are the most uncertain. the other night, i had this gnawing suspicion that i would have to make a difficult yet firm decision regarding my affection towards a very certain someone. it had been something that lurked (shout-out to kelly!) in the back of my mind, like a persistent pebble in my shoe, something i wanted to get rid of easily, but knew that it would require a lot of effort and know-how.
i am proud of myself. i felt something in my gut, it told me to think, and think i did. it told me to act, and act i did. i like to think i did those things with poise and grace, humility and honor.
i am proud of myself. i felt something in my gut, it told me to think, and think i did. it told me to act, and act i did. i like to think i did those things with poise and grace, humility and honor.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
thursday, june 30th
while i was waiting at the doctor's office, (no worries, just a routine thyroid check-up) i read my horoscope and it was spot on!
if you pile too much on your plate, you will fall short of your expectations. focus on getting the job done. not reaching your goals will cost you financially, emotionally, and physically.
i think that was the universe's way of affirming what i already know: keep your eyes on the prize and get shit done. word.
if you pile too much on your plate, you will fall short of your expectations. focus on getting the job done. not reaching your goals will cost you financially, emotionally, and physically.
i think that was the universe's way of affirming what i already know: keep your eyes on the prize and get shit done. word.
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