what the hell.

for the past year or so, i've wondered the same thing about romantic relationships. it's the single person's lament: why is it so difficult to meet the kind of people that i want to meet? it's not difficult to meet people, per say. you can have all sorts of innocuous random interactions with strangers in ordinary places, grocery stores, coffee shops, yoga studios, even in passing on the street. but, to meet someone who fits the criteria of what you deem attractive is a whole'nother ball park. literally. and then, to further stretch the analogy, there are so many dang ball parks...

i joined an online dating website because i wanted to at least attempt to meet guys that would be like me: intellectually curious (without being overly academic), silly, easily amused, light-hearted, down to earth, funny, and athletic. after some less than ideal interactions, i shifted my focus from meeting guys to just shamelessly using the website as a harmless source of eye candy. there. i said it. ain't nothing wrong with scoping out the goods, even if they live in california, colorado, and washington state.

what i didn't expect was to actually meet guys that would come close (or actually do) to fitting the bill. i met two eligible bachelors back to back and as life did what it does, having two dates in such close proximity made it obvious which one was more REAL. (even writing this scares me, i'm afraid of jinxing myself...it's still so magically surreal. almost inconceivable. is this really happening? what.the.hell?)

this is what i cannot deny. knowing what i know and remembering just how much i longed for this exact sort of connection, (which was instant, sweet, gentle, and full of integrity) i will try my best to remain present, but recognize that this is indeed, special. magical. it's a bit hard to believe, but, i also know that regardless of what happens, it's so right, right now.