in jonathan safran foer's amazing novel, extremely loud and incredibly close, the protagonist, oskar schell, claims to have "heavy boots" whenever he feels terribly sad and upset. i've adopted that phrase and very suddenly last night and lingering into today, i've got heavy boots. not heavy HEAVY, but heavy.
it might be the weather, my hormones, my age, or none of it at all...but recently, i've been feeling a stronger draw towards a grounded romantic partnership. this isn't me throwing my own pity party about how it seems that i'll never meet someone, it's just me feeling heavy boots that i don't have that partner now.
tonight i went to the lantern festival, a lone. i like doing things on my own, but, there are some moments, such as tonight, that strike me with an incredible urgency to be able to share these joyous and romantic events with someone i love. i've been told that i must have patience...and then, i wonder, "really?!?" is it all and only about patience?
a few days later:
i think the universe has this marvelous way of gently reminding me to keep things in perspective. in my romantic longing, i had lost sight of the less than ideal aspects of a relationship--namely, the work involved!--but by a series of random events, i happened to observe two couples arguing over inane things, things that weren't worth arguing over at all! instead of pining over something i don't have, i will better embrace what i do have.
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