unattachment.

navigating and trying to make (more) sense of the ending of an intense, passionate relationship is at times painful and seemingly pointless. in trying to understand more of why things happened the way they did, i created imagined scenarios in my head that were just that: IMAGINED. it's done. it's over. there really isn't much else to say, but my feelings, at times, prompt me to re-think.

it's not often that you meet a person with whom you feel immediately connected and drawn to (physically, mentally, emotionally), and when that connection deepens with each interaction, you're drawn further into caring for and potentially loving that person. based on the energy i felt when i actually saw him in person for the first time, i had an overwhelmingly good feeling. of course, it didn't hurt the situation that i was simultaneously letting go of another love, and was very willing and able to "replace" the person of my affections. retrospectively, perhaps what happened was that  my feelings were blurred between two people and i projected too much of what i was feeling for the former with the latter. this is not to say that what i felt about him wasn't real--but, now that i've had time and distance, i feel much more aware of the larger picture, without him. i'm significantly and gratefully less sad. i have accepted what happened and no longer harbor bitterness or anger. i know i am letting him go...and not in a melodramatic way, but, in an unattached and healthy way.

i'm growing to remain open once again.