big mouth

i know that i can be a big mouth. really. i literally do have a big mouth. but my jovially laughing big mouth is not something that really needs to be quieted. okay. if i'm laughing very loudly while a very serious moment is occuring, then that's just plain fucked up. but i'm not socially inept or awkward. i know these things. i know when it's appropriate and not. and laughing loudly at a bar with other drinking laughing big mouth fools is a socially acceptable place to be laughing. so when a native korean man told me that i laugh too loudly and that i should laugh quietly, (dude, i'm not a silent laugher!) i wanted to bitchslap his sorry ass. but i didn't. instead, i drunkenly silently vented to myself. until we moved to the norehbang, where i sang my heart out. cultural differences are fucked up, man. fucked up.

face to face

the world can sometimes be suprising smaller than one might anticipate, much smaller. two weekends ago, i went to a friend's birthday celebration where i met another korean-american, who not suprisingly, is an english teacher. we exchanged numbers and since i'm not particularly picky when it comes to giving out my number--sometimes, unfortunately to my displeasure--i didn't think it an especially unique instance. i was a bit startled then, when he did call me! i found him attractive and of course briefly entertained dating possibilities but knew (gut feelings are usually right) that it--WHATEVER THAT "IT" IS--was not present. (sometimes, i want to say, fuck "it!") he called to invite me to appear on a tv show. SAY WHAT?!? not so secretly, i've entertained thoughts of well, entertainment, of being on tv (little know fact: i was on mtv--on a psa! and also on an aclu commercial.) and while this was entertaining, it more serious than any commercials.

i went on the arirang channel's face to face program where teams of english speakers are given a topic to debate. ours: we were in the proposition to the argument that genetically modified foods should be developed. my teammates, julius, victor, whom i just met that day, and i were probably the most ill-prepared debaters for that show. when i think of wingin' it, a mental picture of that show's set comes to mind. we didn't go cold turkey, but it was pretty damn close. the night before, julius gave me the impression that it was a very relaxed show and that i wouldn't have to prep. luckily, i did some research beforehand and was able to convince the judges (yes, there were judges!) that our team wasn't bonkers. i'm either a really good actress or i'm much more capable of bullshitting than ever before. it was a hellavulot of fun!

i gave our team's opening speech and spoke assertively and perhaps a bit smugly. pausing between choice words for dramatic effect. (you gotta start out strong motherfuckers!) apparently this strategy worked well. when the cameras stopped rolling (we lost by one point, not bad!) we met our opposition and one of their team members admitted that he was scared of me. poor dude. smartypants university students. they won, because unlike us, they researched and cited evidence and facts. numbers, statistics, ladies and gentlemen are very convincing.

so this is where the small world part comes in. just when i was about to sit in the the make-up chair (mmmhmmm, they did our hair and makeup! i've not worn that much make-up since...lordy, i don't even remember.) i see someone who i know i know. turns out its my friend of a friend's girlfriend. and gf is very very cool. we've gotten together several times before and everytime we hang out, it's great fun but those times are few and far between. i think it's the universe saying we need to hang out more often. how random or perhaps not so random. she was one of the judges! and if you think she was biased because she knew me, think again. very objective is she.

just as we were about to leave the studio, one of the audience members came up to me and thanked me for being such a good speaker! now THAT was delightful. that's the sort of compliment i would rarely tire of.

that time again

i should be doing my korean homework or cleaning house, but, i feel more like writing instead. it's nearing the end of october. november 5th, the day after election day, marks my year anniversary in korea and there's something about the one year marker that makes me feel very contemplative, appreciative, and homesick.

the good yet delayed news is that in 6 months time, i'll be returning home for a 2 week visit. i'm already looking very very forward to the it! i've already begun to make mental lists of places to visit, (nyc, dc!) friends to reconnect with, obligatory yet tedious tasks i cannot forget to complete (renewing my driver's license) and simply meandering. thinking of home, thinking of you.

happy birthday, dad!

i just skyped with my dad and wished him a very happy birthday! we shared stories, and bits of everyday information. he made me laugh when he said that i was a korean, now. i told him that i was too strong to be a korean-korean woman and that in turn, made him laugh.

it's raining, i'm craving more sleep, and in 15 minutes i'm out the door to my korean class. you have no idea how happy i am that tomorrow is friday. or, perhaps, you do!

why i love shavashana

i've recently finished reading the art of happiness by his holiness the dalai lama. (who, by the way, is still my hero.) in the final chapter, he informs his readers about how to begin to recognize and understand the nature of our mind. he gives instructions on how to meditate on nonconceptuality, which is not a state of dullness or a blanked out state of mind, rather it's the determination to reach and maintain a stillness, without conceptual thoughts. this is a very difficult task for me to do--to simply quiet my mind is hard enough!--but to try to not think, is something else all together. enter yoga and shavashana.

the other day i had a wonderfully therapeutic, rigorous power vinyasa yoga session and while i was in shavashana, i thought of nothing. yes, it's true. yes, it's also true that i think i entered the first layer of sleep but before that happened, i was in a blissful state of nonconceptuality. i realized this after shavashana, which means that i really wasn't thinking! but i was still present. awesome.

busan funnies

PIFF--해운대:haeundae beach

the busan/pusan international film festival's hub was at haeundae beach. while waiting for our films to begin, we soaked in some sun, overheard snidbits of conversations, and read on the beach.