standstill. contemplation. movement.

love.

when i think about love, i think of acceptance of all the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. i think of a willingness to be open and communicative, to work to learn and listen, together. when i think about love, i think of it as an amazing, undeniable force of nature, something that you don't necessarily control, but then when it happens, it's so genuine, so pure, so incredible that you work with tremendous efforts to see its continued growth and development. love requires a commitment to patience and dedication to not only the person you love but also to yourself. (as you should, you MUST, love yourself.) to allow for both people to feel this shared love therefore requires keen awareness, sensitivity and compromise.

when i stop to really think about relationships, it boggles my mind. how is it possible that two people, from such different backgrounds, with vastly opposite communication styles, and seemingly polarized personality characteristics even get along?!? is this what is meant by opposites attract?

in my current relationship, we are very very different people. i lean more towards the extroverted, social, active, direct to almost-the-point-of bluntness communication, and openness. my partner on the other hand, gravitates more towards the introverted, shy, calm, calculated sort of soft-spoken communication, and cautiousness. we have had some very highly charged, frustrating and challenging misunderstandings that have required multiple time outs and revisits to the issues at hand. some of those issues have led to standstills. some of those standstills have led to thinking about ending the relationship. and just when i thought i/we might not be able to stand it any more, i realize just how misdirected i was/we were.

i think that sometimes i want solutions to the problems to come quickly and easily. i also think that when i feel that impatient, i simply need to stop wanting a quick fix. solutions to relationship confusion and misunderstandings aren't always so fast, especially when the decision is based on mutual understanding. it is precisely when that necessary understanding is missing, or misplaced, it's better to just lean into the discomfort and learn to accept the awkwardness of the unknown. this is all much easier said than done, but, i'm learning (thankfully!) that just when i think i know, i realize (some time later) that i actually knew very little of the true core of the matter. 

standstills. stagnant as they may seem, the can sometimes be just the pause i need to reflect, contemplate and then provide the energy and space to allow for movement when the time is ready.