quixotic

quixotic, adjective: exceedingly idealistic, unrealistic and impractical. extravagantly chivalrous or romantic; visionary.

i sometimes wonder, though, not with too much depth, if i am a bit quixotic.

i'm packing things up--FINALLY!--and not surprisingly, going down memory lane. (i expect this will be common practice in these upcoming and final weeks in korea!) i found this beautiful (and quixotic!) quote from isabel allende's, daughter of fortune, pg 406.

where is your joy, tao? she asked

the world is filled with suffering, lin.

suffering fulfills a spiritual purpose.

this is merely useless sorrow.

remember that the sage is always joyful because he accepts reality.

and evil, must he accept that too?

the only antidote is love...

buttcheeks

day five of this routine and my buttcheeks have never been more sore. holy moly, squats do a number on your gluteus maximus!

another level of awareness

i've always been a sports/health/active-lifestyle enthusiast and for most of my life, for athletics and food consumption alike, i've generally believed in the "everything in moderation" rule of thumb. however, i've noticed that within the past few years, that that's actually not very true at all, especially if i want to look more fit/tone/sculpted. everything in moderation actually goes against attaining defined arms and abs.

this month, i'm challenging myself to have a deeper understanding of how best my body can function. i'm committing myself to having a more discipline relationship with food and with exercise. i've always been curious about what i'd experience in undertaking such an endeavor. for four weeks, i'll exercise 4 times a week, doing a series of various circuits that focus on my core muscles, arms, and legs. last night, i focused on my core and arms with a repeated series of burpees, side plank balances, push-ups with dumbbells and finishing it all off with three rounds of sprints on the treadmill. i have never felt so winded, so quickly in my life. i was sweating like a beast and my muscles were spent in just over 30 minutes. my friend and "trainer," sam, is an exercise buff who has proven how effective this circuit training is on his own body and i'm excited to see the differences i'll notice as my dedication continues.

let me tell you folks, after day one, i realize that most of my down time is spent thinking about what not to eat and what time i actually can eat the foods i'm able to eat. think boiled eggs, baked sweet potatoes, plain yogurt, and as many raw vegetables as i want. now that i'm counting calories, i realize that i 1) have definitely over-eaten for most of my adult life. 2) i like to think about food, A LOT.

this may sound a bit extreme, but, it's actually more of an exercise in conscious awareness. i'm all about learning how to be aware in the present moment and what better way than to focus on my health and the mind-body connection.

accountability

i am a big proponent of equality in the classroom and in life, but i would be lying if i said there weren't people i adored, admired or connected with more than others. this does not mean that i respect any less, but, that it makes sense to choose to be close to those who view life similarly. as such, there are some students that i understand or relate to more. one of those students, is pam.


when i post homework assignments online, my students also have the ability to post and ask questions about the parts they find confusing or to simply, make a statement. yesterday, i saw this posting from pam and my heart literally melted, right then and there. i did nothing to solicit this sort of proclamation, which makes it all the more meaningful.

"I'm going to do all the homework. I will not let you down, Ji Sun."

more important than facts or vocabulary words, my goal in teaching this year was to teach my students to simply be better people, to learn and understand responsibility and accountability. in just one statement, i feel as if i have at least made that known to one student. (PHEW!)

we run seoul 10K

last year, nike called it the human race. i missed the deadline by one day and vowed that the following year, i would take my place along with some other 20,000 seoulites and participate in one of nike's greatest advertisement gimmicks with the perk of a free t-shirt, after of course, the registration fee is paid. how i managed to get my name on this year's roster is pure luck.

unbeknown to me, the deadline was september 6th but i didn't submit my email until september 13th! thanks to a computer glitch, the person to whom i sent my email didn't respond to my application until a few days after...and apologized for the tardy reply. thanks to him, i was able to claim a spot even though i myself was tardy.

i was also tardy when it came to training...i didn't really get into the swing of running until the second week of october and after two weeks of perhaps 6 runs total, i realized that my aim for 54:00 was a tad unrealistic. i opted instead for a time just under an hour. that, would suffice. that, would make me happy.

race day!
my fabulous friends, kyung and amanda, came out to support me and to also check out the digs before the race, which commenced at 4pm. they toasted with an afternoon beer.




i, smartly drank water. though, i must admit, the weather was blissful for a beer. the warmth of summer lingered today and the buzzing of all the highlighter neon yellow jerseys was contagious. i had my pre-race jitters but felt pumped by the masses around me. there were 4 groups, a being the fastest and d being the least fastest. i was in the b group and when the countdown began, and the fireworks shot out, my competitive streak took over.

i felt like i kept a steady pace throughout the entire time but wished for some candy, my throat was dry. the coolest part about the course was that sections of the highways were taped off and we ran next to cars...so literally, we ran seoul, as the name of the event implied. there were various stages set up throughout the race where rock or hip hop music boomed and some very cute children gave me high fives as i went by. as i ran past the 8K mark, i picked up my pace and ended with a sprint. i finished in 57:00, red-faced, sweaty mcsweaty and content. high five nike we run seoul 10K!

status update

it's sunday, october 24th, and i'm sitting facing the window as the sunlight illuminates my room. 2ne1, a fierce kpop all girl bands is serenading me and in a few hours, i'll go participate in the nike "we run seoul" 10K race. there's only 10 weeks remaining until the end of the year and i am still in shock at the realization of how quickly time passes--no joke. not too long ago, i didn't think i'd make it to the end of the year. over-consumed by work and my own cesspool of anxiety, i felt stunted by the length of time. and now? i'm still stunned by time...and the seeming lack of it.

i've regained a renewed sense of appreciation and energy for things quintessentially korean: kimchi--despite the hike in prices, is still served free of charge in restaurants, norehbang--singing rooms!, and nights out with various rounds of fun--restaurants, bars, and clubs.

i've been feeling rather all over the place and my mind won't quit...i want to breathe more during these last two months and to aid this meditation, i'll post more to this blog that hasn't seen many recent additions. they're a coming babies!

nostalgia

the rosy room
of forgotten pains.