time with this face is the BEST!
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
standstill. contemplation. movement.
love.
when i think about love, i think of acceptance of all the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. i think of a willingness to be open and communicative, to work to learn and listen, together. when i think about love, i think of it as an amazing, undeniable force of nature, something that you don't necessarily control, but then when it happens, it's so genuine, so pure, so incredible that you work with tremendous efforts to see its continued growth and development. love requires a commitment to patience and dedication to not only the person you love but also to yourself. (as you should, you MUST, love yourself.) to allow for both people to feel this shared love therefore requires keen awareness, sensitivity and compromise.
when i stop to really think about relationships, it boggles my mind. how is it possible that two people, from such different backgrounds, with vastly opposite communication styles, and seemingly polarized personality characteristics even get along?!? is this what is meant by opposites attract?
in my current relationship, we are very very different people. i lean more towards the extroverted, social, active, direct to almost-the-point-of bluntness communication, and openness. my partner on the other hand, gravitates more towards the introverted, shy, calm, calculated sort of soft-spoken communication, and cautiousness. we have had some very highly charged, frustrating and challenging misunderstandings that have required multiple time outs and revisits to the issues at hand. some of those issues have led to standstills. some of those standstills have led to thinking about ending the relationship. and just when i thought i/we might not be able to stand it any more, i realize just how misdirected i was/we were.
i think that sometimes i want solutions to the problems to come quickly and easily. i also think that when i feel that impatient, i simply need to stop wanting a quick fix. solutions to relationship confusion and misunderstandings aren't always so fast, especially when the decision is based on mutual understanding. it is precisely when that necessary understanding is missing, or misplaced, it's better to just lean into the discomfort and learn to accept the awkwardness of the unknown. this is all much easier said than done, but, i'm learning (thankfully!) that just when i think i know, i realize (some time later) that i actually knew very little of the true core of the matter.
standstills. stagnant as they may seem, the can sometimes be just the pause i need to reflect, contemplate and then provide the energy and space to allow for movement when the time is ready.
when i think about love, i think of acceptance of all the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. i think of a willingness to be open and communicative, to work to learn and listen, together. when i think about love, i think of it as an amazing, undeniable force of nature, something that you don't necessarily control, but then when it happens, it's so genuine, so pure, so incredible that you work with tremendous efforts to see its continued growth and development. love requires a commitment to patience and dedication to not only the person you love but also to yourself. (as you should, you MUST, love yourself.) to allow for both people to feel this shared love therefore requires keen awareness, sensitivity and compromise.
when i stop to really think about relationships, it boggles my mind. how is it possible that two people, from such different backgrounds, with vastly opposite communication styles, and seemingly polarized personality characteristics even get along?!? is this what is meant by opposites attract?
in my current relationship, we are very very different people. i lean more towards the extroverted, social, active, direct to almost-the-point-of bluntness communication, and openness. my partner on the other hand, gravitates more towards the introverted, shy, calm, calculated sort of soft-spoken communication, and cautiousness. we have had some very highly charged, frustrating and challenging misunderstandings that have required multiple time outs and revisits to the issues at hand. some of those issues have led to standstills. some of those standstills have led to thinking about ending the relationship. and just when i thought i/we might not be able to stand it any more, i realize just how misdirected i was/we were.
i think that sometimes i want solutions to the problems to come quickly and easily. i also think that when i feel that impatient, i simply need to stop wanting a quick fix. solutions to relationship confusion and misunderstandings aren't always so fast, especially when the decision is based on mutual understanding. it is precisely when that necessary understanding is missing, or misplaced, it's better to just lean into the discomfort and learn to accept the awkwardness of the unknown. this is all much easier said than done, but, i'm learning (thankfully!) that just when i think i know, i realize (some time later) that i actually knew very little of the true core of the matter.
standstills. stagnant as they may seem, the can sometimes be just the pause i need to reflect, contemplate and then provide the energy and space to allow for movement when the time is ready.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
an organic farm visit!
when i returned to korea in 2012, i came with very concrete things in mind. 1. i would only teach for one year. 2. after that year, i would return to farm work. now that my year of teaching is over, i'm making my return to farm work happen!
today, i met with a farming couple whom i was introduced to from a friend of a friend of a friend. from my initial impression, i get the sense that they are honest, good-natured and down to earth. they were concerned that i didn't know exactly what i was getting into by wanting to volunteer on their farm. i told them that i'm not the "typical" korean woman. i don't like to generalize, but, i'm not afraid of un-glamorous work. i'm not afraid of working up a sweat, wearing muddied clothes, and getting blistered hands. i'm also not afraid of a somewhat long commute to work on the farm so i'm able to gain the experience i very much desire: learning how to grow food from seeds.
to be outside of the city today was very restorative and lovely. it's so nice to see a landscape of mountains and rivers instead of concrete buildings and cars. i start working next week and will volunteer twice a week, on mondays and wednesdays. all day.
the strawberry season has just begun--they are so juicy and delicious!--and soon, we'll plant lettuces and cucumbers! all organic, all wholesome! YES!
today, i met with a farming couple whom i was introduced to from a friend of a friend of a friend. from my initial impression, i get the sense that they are honest, good-natured and down to earth. they were concerned that i didn't know exactly what i was getting into by wanting to volunteer on their farm. i told them that i'm not the "typical" korean woman. i don't like to generalize, but, i'm not afraid of un-glamorous work. i'm not afraid of working up a sweat, wearing muddied clothes, and getting blistered hands. i'm also not afraid of a somewhat long commute to work on the farm so i'm able to gain the experience i very much desire: learning how to grow food from seeds.
to be outside of the city today was very restorative and lovely. it's so nice to see a landscape of mountains and rivers instead of concrete buildings and cars. i start working next week and will volunteer twice a week, on mondays and wednesdays. all day.
the strawberry season has just begun--they are so juicy and delicious!--and soon, we'll plant lettuces and cucumbers! all organic, all wholesome! YES!
Saturday, March 2, 2013
essay headache!
there were times last year that i gave spontaneous in-class essay assignments. it didn't happen very often, perhaps, once every 3-4 months when i felt my students needed more of a writing emphasis/push. for me, i wanted to make sure that my writing lessons were actually beneficial.
during one such occasion, my student roy, may have pushed himself to what he felt must've been his limit. at the completion of his essay, he said two things that i thought were so amusing that i wrote them down on a post-it. while cleaning my papers, to my delight, i have found those quotes!
"the essay made me have a headache!"
"teacher, i almost died doing this."
now that i read them over again, they don't sound nearly as funny as they did when roy originally sighed those words, with a furrow in his brows and shaking his hands, cramped from writing. during class time, roy was usually an overly enthusiastic student but most of the time, he forgot to be mindful and spoke out too often, cutting other students off. he was a student that definitely tested my patience, but, also a student that i wanted to make fully sure he understood my intentions and reasons for a peaceful class. i'm pretty sure he got it most of the time and now that i'm reflecting on his personality, i am remembering how he was funny without knowing how funny he was. i hope that i told him then, how much i liked his jokes. i still smile thinking of them and of him.
during one such occasion, my student roy, may have pushed himself to what he felt must've been his limit. at the completion of his essay, he said two things that i thought were so amusing that i wrote them down on a post-it. while cleaning my papers, to my delight, i have found those quotes!
"the essay made me have a headache!"
"teacher, i almost died doing this."
now that i read them over again, they don't sound nearly as funny as they did when roy originally sighed those words, with a furrow in his brows and shaking his hands, cramped from writing. during class time, roy was usually an overly enthusiastic student but most of the time, he forgot to be mindful and spoke out too often, cutting other students off. he was a student that definitely tested my patience, but, also a student that i wanted to make fully sure he understood my intentions and reasons for a peaceful class. i'm pretty sure he got it most of the time and now that i'm reflecting on his personality, i am remembering how he was funny without knowing how funny he was. i hope that i told him then, how much i liked his jokes. i still smile thinking of them and of him.
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