for the past year or so, i've wondered the same thing about romantic relationships. it's the single person's lament: why is it so difficult to meet the kind of people that i want to meet? it's not difficult to meet people, per say. you can have all sorts of innocuous random interactions with strangers in ordinary places, grocery stores, coffee shops, yoga studios, even in passing on the street. but, to meet someone who fits the criteria of what you deem attractive is a whole'nother ball park. literally. and then, to further stretch the analogy, there are so many dang ball parks...
i joined an online dating website because i wanted to at least attempt to meet guys that would be like me: intellectually curious (without being overly academic), silly, easily amused, light-hearted, down to earth, funny, and athletic. after some less than ideal interactions, i shifted my focus from meeting guys to just shamelessly using the website as a harmless source of eye candy. there. i said it. ain't nothing wrong with scoping out the goods, even if they live in california, colorado, and washington state.
what i didn't expect was to actually meet guys that would come close (or actually do) to fitting the bill. i met two eligible bachelors back to back and as life did what it does, having two dates in such close proximity made it obvious which one was more REAL. (even writing this scares me, i'm afraid of jinxing myself...it's still so magically surreal. almost inconceivable. is this really happening? what.the.hell?)
this is what i cannot deny. knowing what i know and remembering just how much i longed for this exact sort of connection, (which was instant, sweet, gentle, and full of integrity) i will try my best to remain present, but recognize that this is indeed, special. magical. it's a bit hard to believe, but, i also know that regardless of what happens, it's so right, right now.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
thankful for THAT.
it has been over a year since i felt my heart brim with wonder and curiosity (and maybe even hope?--yes, HOPE!) while meeting someone new. today was the sort of day where the sun was shining, the clouds were floating effortlessly, and meeting him reminded me that i am fully capable of feeling this way. feeling happy, giddy, silly and genuine about affection and attention, direct eye contact and holding hands. now that is something for which i'm very thankful.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
a good laugh.
i told my mother today that if i was required from my mother in law to have to cook for her and her son, aka my future husband, that i wouldn't get married. my mother laughed for a solid minute or two. i don't really know why she got such a good laugh from my proclamation...i wonder if it's because to her, a nearly 60 year old korean woman, my statement is just outrageously ridiculous? i gotta ask her for clarification...
but, just to be sure for myself, i meant every word i said.
but, just to be sure for myself, i meant every word i said.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
dating, the speedy kind.
as a single woman, i'm not gonna lie. not that i would really lie about it anyway, but the dating world sure can be an (awkward) adventure--to say the least!--and participating in speed dating was an adventure that i'm pretty sure i don't want to repeat.
my friend, amanda and i, braved the heat--no joke, the dc summer heat was so intense that my face was literally pouring sweat after a 10 minute walk from her apt to the metro--and i suffered blisters from my tres chic 2 inch peep-toe booties to pentagon city, virginia (virginia, the location alone should have signaled sirens!) where we met another single lady in the bathroom and the three of us laughed about the vague organization (that should've been another warning sign...) of the speed dating experience, sharing a drink at the bar while we waited for the "dating" to begin.
the event took place at the lounge of the ritz carlton. sounds fancy smancy, but i think i would've preferred a dive bar in dc. the ladies sat at their individual tables with score cards and suggested questions on the backs of coasters. the martini glasses coaster sported questions that were rated "g" while the handcuffs...well, need i say more? they are handcuffs, afterall! (fyi--i did not ask any of those suggested or suggestive questions.)
the eligible bachelors rotated from table to table, while the ladies stayed seated and after a 5 minute session, everyone rated each other from "i'd fancy a go" being the best score, to "not in a million years" being the worst. i rated 2 of the bachelors "maybe after another drink" and the rest were "not my cup of tea." while it was an experience i'm glad i had, it was a bit too formulaic for my taste and a bit too EXHAUSTING. trying to be "on" for that length of time was enough to give me a brain-ache. you can't hurry love that's for sure and thank goodness for that!
my friend, amanda and i, braved the heat--no joke, the dc summer heat was so intense that my face was literally pouring sweat after a 10 minute walk from her apt to the metro--and i suffered blisters from my tres chic 2 inch peep-toe booties to pentagon city, virginia (virginia, the location alone should have signaled sirens!) where we met another single lady in the bathroom and the three of us laughed about the vague organization (that should've been another warning sign...) of the speed dating experience, sharing a drink at the bar while we waited for the "dating" to begin.
the event took place at the lounge of the ritz carlton. sounds fancy smancy, but i think i would've preferred a dive bar in dc. the ladies sat at their individual tables with score cards and suggested questions on the backs of coasters. the martini glasses coaster sported questions that were rated "g" while the handcuffs...well, need i say more? they are handcuffs, afterall! (fyi--i did not ask any of those suggested or suggestive questions.)
the eligible bachelors rotated from table to table, while the ladies stayed seated and after a 5 minute session, everyone rated each other from "i'd fancy a go" being the best score, to "not in a million years" being the worst. i rated 2 of the bachelors "maybe after another drink" and the rest were "not my cup of tea." while it was an experience i'm glad i had, it was a bit too formulaic for my taste and a bit too EXHAUSTING. trying to be "on" for that length of time was enough to give me a brain-ache. you can't hurry love that's for sure and thank goodness for that!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
mamihlapinatapai
tonight, i learned a new word and it's so beautiful, i have to share it.
mamihlapinatapai, a word from the yaghan language of tierra del fuego, chile.
the guinness book of world records regards it as the "most succint word" and is considered one of the most difficult words to translate. it means, "a look shared by two people, each wishing that the other would initiate something that they both desire but which neither wants to begin."
oh heart of hearts! (sigh.)
mamihlapinatapai, a word from the yaghan language of tierra del fuego, chile.
the guinness book of world records regards it as the "most succint word" and is considered one of the most difficult words to translate. it means, "a look shared by two people, each wishing that the other would initiate something that they both desire but which neither wants to begin."
oh heart of hearts! (sigh.)
Monday, July 4, 2011
the baltimore clause.
the smell of old bay crab seasoning lingers on my fingertips and instead of serving as a reminder of the joys of eating crabs as part of a festive 4th of july, it leaves me feeling disturbed and conflicted about the ethics of eating animals.
for the past two and a half months, i've been eating a solid vegetarian diet. i've been, or so i thought, fairly up to date on safe eating practices and know what foods help me feel and look healthy and energized. as i read eating animals by jonathan safran foer and learned more about the packaging of "nutrition" in michael pollan's in defense of food, i realized that there is still so much more to learn. it's difficult to know what sources to trust, (and how these sources are crafting their information to persuade you, the food consumer) however, the information regarding how meats are processed (dishonestly, filthily and inhumanely) is something that i, in good conscious, cannot ignore. i'm not a militant vegetarian and it's not that i'm against eating meat. but what i am against, is eating meat that has been soaking in its own feces infested water so that the meat will gain water weight and cost more per pound at the grocery store. (essentially, you're paying more for feces water, less for meat. do you really want to put that in your mouth? unfortunately, labels with buzz words like "organic" and "free range" don't mean much since the industry isn't strictly regulated and the livelihood of the animals subsist of a short, miserable, nearly always darkened existence where they can't move because there is no space. i won't even rant about slaughterhouses...)
my fellow vegetarian friend, amanda, who is also from my hometown, informed me about what she likes to call the "baltimore clause." maryland is known for being a crabby state and i don't think i've met a native marylander that has denied or declined crabs in any form: steamed, crab cake, crab soup, or soft shell sandwich. amanda who does at times eat fish, called eating crabs her "baltimore clause." she makes this exception to her otherwise vegetarian diet because she is from baltimore, hon.
i decided that, for a day, i would also adopt this clause. and while i did have a good time picking the crabs, smacking the mallet on the claws to get at the meat, i actually enjoyed crunching on some sweet corn on the cob with melted butter and a splash of salt, MORE. what can i say? i'd rather be eating vegetables, for all the reasons that are right to me.
food is so intrinsically linked to our memories. sometimes, i think more than anything else, people want a specific dish particularly because it conjures up an exact memory from childhood, rather the taste of the food itself. (food practices in those days were most likely less damaging to the environment and to our bodies!) not eating meat does make me realize that i do "miss out" on those nostalgic episodes, but, rather than looking backward, i like to focus more on the new vegetarian food memories i make instead. thank you baltimore clause for allowing me to realize that i'm actually not missing out on anything at all.
for the past two and a half months, i've been eating a solid vegetarian diet. i've been, or so i thought, fairly up to date on safe eating practices and know what foods help me feel and look healthy and energized. as i read eating animals by jonathan safran foer and learned more about the packaging of "nutrition" in michael pollan's in defense of food, i realized that there is still so much more to learn. it's difficult to know what sources to trust, (and how these sources are crafting their information to persuade you, the food consumer) however, the information regarding how meats are processed (dishonestly, filthily and inhumanely) is something that i, in good conscious, cannot ignore. i'm not a militant vegetarian and it's not that i'm against eating meat. but what i am against, is eating meat that has been soaking in its own feces infested water so that the meat will gain water weight and cost more per pound at the grocery store. (essentially, you're paying more for feces water, less for meat. do you really want to put that in your mouth? unfortunately, labels with buzz words like "organic" and "free range" don't mean much since the industry isn't strictly regulated and the livelihood of the animals subsist of a short, miserable, nearly always darkened existence where they can't move because there is no space. i won't even rant about slaughterhouses...)
my fellow vegetarian friend, amanda, who is also from my hometown, informed me about what she likes to call the "baltimore clause." maryland is known for being a crabby state and i don't think i've met a native marylander that has denied or declined crabs in any form: steamed, crab cake, crab soup, or soft shell sandwich. amanda who does at times eat fish, called eating crabs her "baltimore clause." she makes this exception to her otherwise vegetarian diet because she is from baltimore, hon.
i decided that, for a day, i would also adopt this clause. and while i did have a good time picking the crabs, smacking the mallet on the claws to get at the meat, i actually enjoyed crunching on some sweet corn on the cob with melted butter and a splash of salt, MORE. what can i say? i'd rather be eating vegetables, for all the reasons that are right to me.
food is so intrinsically linked to our memories. sometimes, i think more than anything else, people want a specific dish particularly because it conjures up an exact memory from childhood, rather the taste of the food itself. (food practices in those days were most likely less damaging to the environment and to our bodies!) not eating meat does make me realize that i do "miss out" on those nostalgic episodes, but, rather than looking backward, i like to focus more on the new vegetarian food memories i make instead. thank you baltimore clause for allowing me to realize that i'm actually not missing out on anything at all.
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