rafting!

this past saturday, some friends and i went rafting along the han tan river in gangwon-do province, which is adjacent to gyeonggi-do province, which is where seoul is located. it took about 2 hours by bus to get there and i had no problems falling asleep. philip, who doesn't fall asleep quite as easily as i do, sneaked some photos of me completely zonked out. i was surprised to find these later and we both had a good chuckle!

hair in face and all:

what a rascal!

the rafting site:

ready to get our raft on!


unfortunately, my camera isn't waterproof so i don't have pictures of the rafting adventure itself. suffice it to say, that the rafting was fun, the water was refreshing, the scenery pretty (big rock formations, trickling waterfalls, lush green) and my sun-kissed self slept even more soundly once i got back home!

this is why i'm hot

it's that time of year again. summer time. and, it's a hot one!

yogic mediation/deep relaxation

one of the things that i've been focusing on recently, is simplification.
declutter the mind, create space for the things that really matter. declutter the home and be rid of useless crap. last night i tried yogic meditation as a way to relax and still my mind. it's difficult to not be "thinking" about something! but i feel that my attempts to calm the mind are really ways for me to nurture my health. bonus! afterwards, i fell asleep effortlessly and had one of the best nights of sleep in recent memory.

try it out:
http://elsieyogakula.wordpress.com/2008/01/25/episode-62-yoga-nidra-yourself-out-a-65-min-deep-meditative-relaxation/

tall and not so tall

philip is tall. me, not so much:

club eden

eden lounge:

coat check:

the bar:

dance pause: me, theresa and lydia

light spectrum:

tiered lights:

dj neville:

david in the powder room:

getting down!

turka

after realizing that we couldn't get our pho on, (the restaurant in mind was closed--boooooo!) theresa and i were in search of a restaurant that seemed as appetizing as a big bowl of vietnamese noodles on a thursday night. we passed a stretch of restaurants that did not make our mouths water, until, simultaneously, our eyes landed on a sign that said, TURKA. oh yes, turkish food from turka! we had a delicious feast.

eye candy: the decor was all decked out in turkish crafts, tiles with beautiful swirls and intricately decorated plates.




turkish BALLS!

belly candy: savory spices and tender meats. TURKA!



lydia, theresa and me:

just what exactly does this mean?!?

n tower at night

awaiting the cable car:

locks of love and happiness:

fly away:

n tower glows blue:

seoul, korea:

from the top, lights below:

random luck

today is june 15th, which for other expats like me, marks the 2008 tax return date. even though i had a 2 month extension, look at me, i turned it in, as on time as i possibly could be, on the final day. i shipped my documents via fedex and once i left the store, i made my way towards my house, a quick 5 minute walk away. like other koreans near me, i walked with purpose and with my cell phone in hand.

in the midst of texting my friend, 2 korean men approached me. they began to talk to me and since my vocabulary is a bit limited, i had no idea wtf they were saying. i excused myself and explained that i didn't know korean very well and it tickled me to see their puzzled expressions.

dude 1: where are you from?
me: i'm from america.
dude 1: oh but you speak korean well!
me: thanks but i still have more to learn.
dude 2: you have a lot of 복! (pronounced bohk)
me: huh? what is 복?
dude 1: it means luck.
dude 2: yes, you have a lot of luck.
me: (amused) oh really?!? how can you tell that i have a lot of luck?
dude 2: we can sense it.
me: (i think i rolled my eyes to myself) oh reeeeeaaaallllyyy?
dude 1: yes. you are lucky.

then dude 2 goes off on this spiel which i infer is about luck, and how i can better harvest IT if i come with them to listen and learn more about their special sort of religion. i thanked him but (lied--how non religious is that?!?) and told him that i was on my way to meet my friend. i think he really wanted me to harness my luck because he seemed disappointed when i told him i had to go. i don't know if i like the push-factor of their religion, but i did appreciate the random awareness of luck, in the sense that it's good to remember that being lucky can be as easy as simply recognizing it in the everyday. how RANDOM!

here and there

i wrote this sometime in the summer of 2008 (it was very unlike me to not date it...curious!) and it is an ongoing and evolving personal process of awareness, acceptance and understanding.

i've been thinking recently, inspired by the books that i've read, (norwegian wood, the memory keeper's daughter, all over creation, memoirs of a geisha and the namesake) about the choices and circumstances that makes us who we are, how we identify ourselves, how we can create layers of existences and seemingly shed and re-apply those identities like clothes. some new, worn only once, others we wear like skin, our ultimate favorite T.

i wouldn't say that i've been struggling--that seems too strong of a word--with my identity, but during the past few years, it is a theme that i've mulled over and contemplated, an issue complicated by emotions, duties, acceptance (or lack thereof), fear and expectations.

the issue and theme of identity is by no means a new one. there are countless tales of cultural and political journeys, and while my words may be similar to others, these words i write are still uniquely mine. there are lots of things i want to say, it's like my brain has all these stored ideas, tucked safely in pockets, some with velcro closings, button clasps, zippers, wax. the last book i read in particular--the namesake--has acted like a catapult, erupting in me this urge, no, more than an urge, a NEED to release and voice myself. so i'm exposing these deposited thoughts like presents to myself.

i am not terribly comfortable with labels. i find them limiting and sometimes insulting. this is mostly because people are much deeper than a label, i don't think it's fair to try to summarize a person's experiences into a hyphenated word or two. but i know that there's not time or patience enough in the world to explain ourselves to each other without labels. i know labels can help us to try to better understand each other but in some ways, these very same labels have helped me to understand myself less. i have felt for a better part of my life to be and act like a label. and in doing son, i followed the herd mentality, doing without thinking, easily believing what i was told. you should behave like this, do that, say this, don't do that. in america, i didn't understand how others could not get that i'm american--really? REALLY? seriously?--and now here in korea, i also claim my american-ness.

how much do i let others especially complete strangers, affect me? and why? for what? for whom do i live my life and why do i feel the need to prove or justify myself to randoms?

the story of how i was born

as told by my mother, translated from korean by me:

korea, back in 1979, my family lived in daegu, a city south of seoul by 2 hours. near the time of my birth, my father changed jobs and due to that transition, he asked my mother to stay with his parents in yoeju (their hometown), where she would have help, if and when she needed it.

my mother felt contractions the night before i was born and in the morning, the contractions continued...all the while, my grandmother wondered why my mother hadn't joined them (she, my gramps, and my dad) for breakfast and my older sister, then 3 years old, insisted that she didn't want to eat breakfast (my mom said, "go eat breakfast" and she said, "싫어!" i don't want to!) and stayed in the same room with my mother.

when my grandmother checked in on my mom she was hunched over, suffering the pain, and surprisingly, not at all vocally--my mom told me that when she was in birthing pain, she leaned more towards the quiet rather than loud spectrum--and my grandma went into midwife mode and was running around her house trying to find the things she needed. my mother overheard my grandma say how can she deliver if she's wearing clothes so, off went the pants and underoos and a few moments later, i slipped out into the world, wailing, as my mom says, from the cold. it was january. my grandmother arrived to cut my umbilical cord and skillfully crafted my belly button! afterwards, the placenta scared the shit out of my mother when it escaped her body! my mom made me laugh by saying if she hadn't taken off her clothes, there wouldn't have been any space for me to get out!

my sister was witness to this entire event and unsurprisingly, she doesn't remember much. but, she excitedly informed our dad of my gender. she must've ran out to greet him and he asked, "is the baby like me?" ie, is the baby a boy? and she replied, "나 같은것!" she's like me, she's like me! poor dad. like most korean fathers at the time, he was hoping for a son and all he got was another girl.

luck, however, was on his side when three years later, our baby brother was born!

green and quiet

this past saturday, my boyfriend, philip, took me to a green, quiet space, blissfully tucked away from the hubhub of everyday traffic and noise. he took me to 동구릉, donggureung, the east nine tombs, a burial place for 7 kings and 10 queens. so why the number 9? good question, only nine of the tombs are visible in the form of mounds above the earth. the site is beautiful in its greenery, seclusion, and serenity. we had a lovely picnic--and we were amused when we were singled out and told not once, but twice, by a staffer who requested that we move our blanket location. the funniest part is that we later saw another couple sitting in the very same spot we once sat!--and delighted in the fact that we could hear the wind through the leaves in the trees. it was peaceful, tranquil and calming. splendid, really.

the view from the hilltop (notice the little people, bottom left. we sat not far from them):


afternoon delight, lazy contemplation:


take one:


take two:


take three: