celebration!

this year, to welcome both the lunar new year and my personal new year, aka my birthday, my friends, amanda, chris, ui-jin and i went out of the city to a coastal town called donghae. (note: if you ever visit donghae, do not be freaked out by the fact that at some crosswalks, there are no traffic lights. pedestrians have the right of way and cars are very courteous and obedient!) even though we were stuck in traffic for nearly 6 hours, (besides it being a 4-day holiday weekend, it was also lightly snowing.) i didn't really mind. i was afterall, on a minivacation and slept most of the way. after we arrived in "downtown" donghae, we continued onwards towards the beach and to our pension.

our pink, purple, and with lots of bows pension:


the beach! stunning, beautiful, gorgeous, peaceful yet cold:



on sunday, we went hiking in the valley. clean, crisp and refreshing!

frozen twin waterfalls:



it's my birthday!

rice cakes for the lunar new year, homemade from the pension owner:

happy year of the oxen!

mmm, mmm, FOOD!

during lunch:

during dinner:

24

i gave an open lecture today and had only one student attend the class. it was awesome. afterwards, he asked me how old i was--did i not already tell you that that question is probably the most popular question in korea?!?--and he was surprised when i told him i was 2 to the 9, soon to be 3 to the 0. he thought i was 24. 24!?! radical. the older i get the younger people think i am...how curious!

for my birthday...

i'd like to get some implants.

NOT breast implants, (GOTCHA! didn't i?!?) but the far more important teeth variety!

it's been over 10 years since i had my face (aka teeth) plant with my high school's hardass cafeteria floor and recently, i've had some rather frightening dreams about my fake teeth. i fear they are, like me, getting old. and my fear is not irrational. i age. you age. yes, even my fake teeth age. sometimes i examine them and they seem so fragile. i'm scared they're going to snap, crack, fall apart. (it's because they have before!) i don't want to walk around with two front teeth missing.

sure, it's cute.

for like 30 effin seconds!

then i just look goofy.

and i don't mind goofy, if only my current profession didn't rely so heavily on having and maintaining "professional" appearances. like so:

i teach english. without two front teeth, i talk with a noticeable lisp. and i tend to gleek uncontrollably. i doubt my adult students would appreciate that! (although, that would be hilarious!)

this year, i want to get teeth implants. shoot! honestly, my fake teeth retainer was truly not meant to be in use for over 10 years. (yikes! i hope my gums can handle implants!) and since some of you have asked me about my birthday, i thought i'd share my implant idea with you.

retainer, no more. since dental work is pricey mcpricey, i'd greatly appreciate whatever you contribute to my implant fund. an implant fund sounds sort of dirty, but please know that there is nothing filthy about getting permanent teeth! and maybe it'll make you feel all warm and cozy knowing that new teeth will honestly be a gift i'll have forever! not only that, but it will be vital for everyday functions, such as biting into apples, corn on the cob, chocolate chip cookies and smiling, smiling, smiling. if you're serious about this and would like to delight me in this gift, hollllllllaaaaaa!

a may homecoming

i'm coming home for a visit in may. i know that 3 months time will pass rather quickly, but, i'm wishing may was only 3 weeks away.

acupuncture

the clinic, upon stepping outside the elevator:

the pulsing massage machine:

close up of pulsinator:

needles in my back:

electric stimulation:

missent

this was missent to osaka. hmm...understandable, somewhat. at least it's a similar longitude.

but missent to the cook islands of new zealand!?! interesting...

happiness and enjoyment

can i get a spell check?

redbean=happy time

fresh!

enjoy happy dots!

...

mullet maintenance

i'm on the grow, but, the mullet had to go.
i should've taken a before shot, but, take my word for it. the mullet was disgusting. no. really. it was heinous. and yes, i'm very prone to over-dramatization and exaggeration.

this is me, on mullet patrol and donning a much cleaner neck line.

back attack

in case you don't already know, two common things can apparently be rather potentially destructive to your back. 1) sleeping--especially if you unknowingly sleep in an uncompromising position. 2) violent fits of coughing.

this past week i suffered a debilitating 24+ hour cold that prevented me from going to work and literally knocked me out. i was asleep, on and off, for nearly 36 hours. the good news: i'm not sick anymore. the bad news: i think my previous sickness led to me current state of backpain. wtf? the only explanation i could come up with is that either the coughing or the sleeping, or a combination of the two, led to my sprained back. thankfully, i received and will continue to receive acupuncture treatments to help relieve the pain.

cuidado! the world is full of unknown dangers.

the incredible, edible egg...roll!

at this restaurant:

you can order a kimchi-filled eggroll which is plenty to satisfy four hungry hungry hippos.

because i heart macalester

i was asked to write a statement about the benefits my financial aid package from macalester provided. i was happy to volunteer these words from my heart:

When I first heard of Macalester, the name stuck with me for no
apparent reason other than the fact that I liked how the it rolled off
my tongue. Macalester. When I learned more about the life behind the
name, I was convinced that Macalester was the place, regardless of the
frigid winters, that I wanted to be.

I was elated--really, i squealed!--when I received my acceptance
letter and financial aid package and immediately began imagining an
enthusiastically absurd amount of possibilities. Nostalgically, I was,
of course a touch hopelessly naive. But, realistically, Macalester was
the place where one could envision and then begin to actualize such
desires. This would not have been imaginable, however, without the
financial aid I required and so gratefully received.

My family's story is a very American one: we immigrated to the United
States for what my parents hoped would be a better life. I was too
young then to object our permanent departure, nor did I fully understand the on-goings around me. What I do know now, however, is that I was then and still am, very lucky.

My experiences at Macalester have played an instrumental role in
shaping how I view the world and understanding how the world might
view me. My growing collection of shifted and sifted thoughts were
acknowledged, shared, supported and refuted. I was inspired by my
professors, friends, and classmates to question and wonder, marvel and
dissect. On some topics I fared well, others not so well. Yet even the
laughable and sometimes painfully embarrassing moments were times
where I was learning to be...me.

I'm still thinking and accepting, growing and learning. I currently
live and work in Seoul, South Korea, where I teach conversation skills
(with a mix of critical thinking skills, humor, and slang!) to
business professionals. Whenever my students ask where I went to
college, I smile broadly and say, "Macalester" twice. I think they
like how it sounds as well.

i fear...

my body is falling apart.

that and sometimes, being a woman is seriously hard work.

snail mail makes me smile!

i came home from my korean class for my brief 40 minute lunch interval to find 2 (TWO!!!!!) letters jutting out of my mailbox. (okay, three, but one of those was junkety-junk, so it doesn't really count.) you should know, internet, one of my greatest joys in life is to receive handwritten, as in pen to paper, letters with thoughts a rambling, dreams a floating, ideas a brewing, life a happening! fan-fucking-tastic!

wonderland

there's a magical wonderland of lights near my house. the posco steel company decks out their trees with a ridiculous (and beautiful) amount of lights that glow a few hours every night from just before christmas to what i believe will be shortly after new years. as of today, the lights are still shining, but, i'm not sure for how much longer they'll twinkle. i'm sure those lights cost a small fortune. and also, there's something a bit more magical about a fleeting beauty that an everlasting one.

put on your shitkickers and kick some shit

my fellow aquarian and amazing friend, amber, sent me a link to this horoscope in an email. it's a seattle weekly column titled "sign language" by caeriel crestin. i have no idea how to say dude's name and even though i googled that shit, it didn't give me much help, other than a link to the same page that amber gave me. i'm also too sick to try to look further right now, so, caeriel, i'm a gonna guess that your name is pronounced "cereal." anyhoo, dude's words for me and for amber were on the money. kick some shit otherwise known as, make shit happen.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

Usually at this time of year, I'm keen to advise people to make a fresh start. Marshall your intentions, I say, and make shit happen. I'm feeling too cynical for that. You shouldn't need an excuse like New Year's to initiate changes in your life. Either you're ready to manifest them or you're not, and their association with the first of the year won't matter one iota. Make shit happen, if you're ready. If you're not, maybe just figure out what it'll take for you to be ready. There's no perfect time for manifesting new stuff in your life—only the time you make. When will you make that time, and when will you start? This week may not necessarily be better than the rest, but it's as good as any.

for you non-aquarians who are curious about caeriel's full spectrum:
http://www.seattleweekly.com/2008-12-31/diversions/sign-language/

i've got it bad and that ain't good

headache, muscle aches, sore throat, runny nose, nasty-ass cough, fatigue. i hope you don't get this. i'm going back to bed now.

you think you want it, until you don't.

about a month ago, when i wasn't even looking, i met someone. isn't that always the case? and while dude is silly, funny, nice, thoughtful, sincere, cute and flattering, i'm just that not into him. it's just not... right, somehow. it's not what i want. something's misplaced or maybe something's missing? i thought maybe i could be that casual sort of girl, but, i realize that i'm rather incapable of casual. i'm fine with casual conversations, random interactions with strangers (especially since here in seoul, people often ask me for directions. go figure!) and even displays of fleeting affection, but to date someone casually, well, i'm being honest here--let's face it. i suck.

i think it's because i have little patience for what seems obvious. it's obvious to me that i am not really invested in him as a boyfriend. it doesn't mean that he couldn't be an excellent boyfriend, but i don't want him as my boyfriend. why not? exactly, i'm wondering that myself...i don't want to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. i don't work that way. i also think it's because i'm not drawn to him magnetically. while i recognize the things that make him attractive and dynamic, he doesn't necessarily inspire or move me. and i definitely need that continuous pulse of electric zing, in my heart and in my mind. am i really thinking this? REALLY!? "it's not you, it's me."

and dude, it IS me! you either feel it with someone or you don't. sometimes you feel it and it dissipates. i guess it can come back, but most times, it doesn't. it goes into that void where broken hearts go--some sort of weeping black hole of hearts--and you reflect, contemplate, and return back to what you know, (or the you you thought you knew but lost and have to rediscover anew) to you. it's not lonely. (okay. sometimes it's lonely, terribly, dreadfully lonely but it gets less so.) and when you are whole again, you can give yourself again. but you're pickier and more cautious, because you know better. so maybe i'm being picky. is there a thing as too picky? and how do you know if you're being just too damn outrageous?

oprah and i have something in common

7 years ago, when i was first diagnosed as hypothyroid, i wanted to create a t-shirt that said, "take care of your thyroid." the ironic (i was trying to be sarcastically witty.) thing is that it's very difficult to take care of your thyroid. it's a butterfly-shaped endocrine gland located in the lower neck that takes care of itself, or in my case, suddenly stops working properly. there's little you can do to prevent hypothyroidism or it's sister, hyper. there's a bunch of hoo-ha surrounding the onset of these thyroidic diseases, (hereditary, lack of iodine, excessive consumption of soy...) but, when it comes down to it, there are still mysteries regarding this common yet overlooked condition.

7 years ago, i developed a goiter and thought it might have been from straining my neck muscles while doing sit-ups. (PUH-SHA! yeah, right. i was convincing myself that there was nothing to stress out about. interestingly enough, stress can somehow lead to hypothyroidism as well--what?! so i wonder if my trying not to stress out about stressing out was enough stress to induce my current hypothyroidic state?!?) i had no idea what the thyroid was at the time of my diagnosis but all i knew was that i had a protrusion from my neck that was very un-natural. that, and i was soooo tired all the frickin time no matter how much i slept. it was hard to distinguish whether i was exhausted from my inactive thyroid or from jet-lag. most likely, both. i had just returned from my first visit to south korea, where the time difference is 14 hours.

the thyroid serves very very important functions. namely, this lil guy affects the metabolism, ie, how the body harvests energy. in fact, it's like the fuckin ringmaster of metabolism. the thyroid secretes (ha ha, that word, for whatever reason makes me laugh! secretes!) 2 key hormones: triiodothyronine (T3) and thyroxine (T4). T3 and T4's purpose, while traveling through the bloodstream is to help cells convert oxygen and calories into energy. but if mcmaster thyroid tires of his circus duties, and allows his evil cousin, hypothryoidism to take charge, your body will definitely show signs of it:
fatigue
weight gain
goiter
constipation
hair loss
depression, among others.

how did i find out i was hypo? thankfully, my goiter was a tell-tale sign. and sure enough my blood test results confirmed that my pituitary gland was sending off a high amount of TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) to my thyroid:

pituitary: thyroid, you need to make more hormones, copy?
thyroid: unresponsive
pituitary: i SAID, thyroid, you're not doing your job and you're fucking things up, man!
thyroid: still unresponsive
pituitary: HELLO?!?! (mutters) lazysonofabitch.

pituitary kept sending more and more signals to thyroid and as such, my bloodwork revealed that my TSH levels were higher than normal. i consider myself lucky. hypothryoidism affects people very differently. oprah winfrey recently revealed that she was hypo, too and she, like many others, has experienced a host (wha! no pun intended...) of negative effects, some of the most recognizable are lack of energy, motivation and weight gain. (on a related side note: when i went to new zealand, i gained a large amount of weight throughout my 6 month stay. at the time, i thought it was due to my traveling lifestyle, emotionally driven eating habits, and stress. last night, i found out that the mineral selenium which is believed to help promote healthy thyroid function is nearly absent in nz soil. it is, however, very abundant in us soil. now, i'm not an endocrinologist, but! i truly believe that that was also a factor in my sudden weight gain! incredible. how the body functions, reacts, and shuts down.) through yearly blood tests and a consistent hormone pill swallowing schedule, i've not had serious complications due to my hypothyroid. i strongly believe in the mind-body connection so i make a conscious effort to nourish my mind while i maintain a healthy body. for some things, it is mind over matter, however, when it comes to hormones, the mind is incapable of producing what it needs on its own so i'm thankful for medicine and careful monitoring. fyi: women! watch out, this condition affects you 6 to 8 times more than men.

why am i sharing this? consider it my psa blog.
questions? the (faux) doctor is in.