it happens

(shiiiiiiiiii) it happens.
traveling, which is one of the most joyful of experiences, does not come without its share of burdens. wanderlusts can lose a hairbrush left by the bathroom sink, an address book inadvertantly misplaced at the post office, a shirt, hung to dry overnight on a hostel bedpost, forgotten the next morning, remembered hours after, dismissed yet missed. hours earlier today, i lost my camera. (r.i.p.)

my travel mate, nami and i were sitting on a bench eating our respective pre-dinner snacks. she munched on falafel, i downed my umpteenth pad thai. a cute dog--there are many many dogs in all parts of thailand that roam freely. i think they're all related, they look so alike!--sat in front of us and begged with its pleading eyes for a sample of my dish. now, i'm not usually one to succumb to requests, but i felt like sharing so i gave him a smidge. i humored myself in thinking that a dog has as much of a pad thai pleasure as me (he rejected nami's piece of falafel earlier) and i took its portrait. unfortunately, i had three things in my hands--nami later told me the misfortune of the rule of 3. it means that one of the three things is usually forgotten. in my case, my camera.--and while i was convinced at the time that i had put my camera back in my bag, i later learned, much to my extreme disappointment (my sense of mind and pride suffering disbelief and pain) that i must've (mis)placed my camera by the side of my bag, left unprotected, on the bench.

i noticed my lack of camera about 2 hours later, when i wanted to take a picture of a pretty in pink sunset. i panicked when my camera wasn't where i thought it was and knew right away with an awful sinking feeling both in my gut and in my throat, that my camera was gone from me, permanently. i checked my bags, the room, and as immediately as the sinking feeling came, it was gone, replaced instead with anger, disbelief in myself, my brain, my lack of mind, in the form of forgetful aloofness.

i ran back to the bench and hoped to see it there, untouched. no such luck. i then, asked several shopowners nearby if they had seen a camera. they hadn't...who would honestly turn in a luxury camera (surely there are far more luxurious models, but this one was pretty damn hot!)when the owner, me, had been so neglectful? (and if they wanted to return it me, how would they? there's no police station on the island of koh pha ngan...and while this place is small, what sort of central location posts lost and found items?)

my immediate reaction was, of course, naturally to blame myself. how could i have let this happen? meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!?!?! i usually check, double check my belongings, especially when they are costly and give me an instant and beautiful means to express myself visually. then i blamed that damn dog. then i blamed pad thai. if i hadn't eaten pad thai then that dog wouldn't have enticed me then i'd still have my camera. then, i realized, that a camera--a camera!--surely has a lot of power over me. i would rather own my possessions that have my possessions own me--fight club, anyone?--and after a thankfully brief yet ugly display of cursing, laughing and a wee bit of crying, i went and got a relaxing thai massage. my second today.

it could be terribly worse. i could've lost my wallet, (sweet jesus, just thinking about that makes me anxious!) or worse, my passport. (quiver, quiver, headache extreme...) and do i still feel like poo? yes, sometimes i do. but thankfully, those moments are lingering less and i am consciously making them fade gradually, but with increasing strength. i lost my camera, however, there's still so much i DO have. i have my health, i have my sense of humor, i have the ability to laugh at something that in my youth may have caused me too much unnecessary grief. i'm learning to let go and practice self-kindness in the face of annoying agitation. i think, i may be (gasp!) maturing and am actually aware of how i'm doing so.

losing my camera is an absurdly remarkable example of the live-and-learn lessons i'm applying to my life. i'm reading a thought-provoking book by paulo coelho called the witch of portobello. seconds before i realized i lost my camera, the main character, athena, questions heron, who i think is her soon to be lover, about why he keeps so many books in his library and asks him if he will honestly re-read any of them. he responds that they are such a strong part of him that he refuses to part with them. she asks him if they are really that important (of course books are important!!! but to own all of them? a collected display of knowledge? and for whom?)...and that's what i'm asking myself, what are really REALLY my most important things? certainly not a camera that can be replaced. so while it's a pity for me to save money towards a new camera, i think i have learned very valuable lessons tonight:
1) don't have more than three things in your hands. seriously. we've got two hands and sometimes even with only one thing in our hands it's easy to get side-tracked of--ahem--what's at "hand." (even now, puns make me snicker!)and be present in the moment. take the time to remember.
2) don't take photos of random dogs pleading for pad thai. they're instant distractions.
3) it happens. there is no one to blame, but that life happens. it happens. so you live and learn, grow and share. i'm just really bummed out that i can't share any of my awesome shots of thailand with you...i think that means that i just have to return to this wonderful country with lovely people. and when i do, you sure as hell can bet that i won't forget my camera, anywhere.

lazy sunny days and pad thai

i've eaten pad thai just about every day since my arrival to thailand. i haven't tired of it yet...it's that damn good! i'm on the island of koh samui now...it hurts to sit on this vinyl chair of the internet cafe because my lazy ass fell asleep and got burnt on the beach. yep. Burnt, with a capital B! tomorrow, off to koh pha ngan, another island that's only a ferry ride away...but this time, i'm reapplying sunscreen every hour, on the hour. no joke. happy beaching!

pankey

not as in hanky panky, but pan-key. the dynamic combination of monkey + panda. scott, a student i had taught previously (and whom i taught again when i substituted for a co-worker) is a cute, clever one! i drew him a monkey and he drew a panda over it, thus the pan-key was made!

syl-la-ble

koreans have a tendency to add sounds to words that don't need them. they do this because the exact translation of sounds does not exist. for example, the word, "toast." there isn't an "oa" sound in korean, so they make a one syllable word, into three: to-sou-tuh.

last night, the topic of discussion was circuses. to get discussion going, i asked my students what types of things you see in modern day circuses. they gave expected responses: lions, tigers, clowns, elephants...and then, kevin said, "jugg-guh-ling." one of my favorite activities to do with my students is to correct their pronunciation. not in a judgemental way, but to demonstrate its importance. i love it when they laugh at my exaggerated mispronunciation and then it is the ultimate compliment when they repeat after me, in perfect form. it's an added bonus when they even mimic my tone! jug-gling!

apparently i'm funny

humor. i easily find the littlest things funny. i love observing the ongoings around me. it humors me to see the things that don't make mundaneness. in the classroom, apparently i'm funny. now, i know that at times i can be funny. it's in my delivery, my tone. i'm funny in the silly-wacky variety and i also definitely enjoy laughing. in fact, i think i'm as crazy as i am in the classroom, to entertain the students of course, but maybe moreso to entertain myself! more than once, my students have told me that i could/should be an actress--sweet! korea tv shows!? what up!--or a comedienne. humor, i realize makes the kiddies learn, or at least pay attention and let's just be honest here. sometimes, i simply need them to pay attention. (the lil' rugrats!)

i'm finding that by being funny, my students actually remember what i say...it might not necessarily be the material i want them to retain. but i still feel like i'm making some sort of impact, which is rewarding.

new music

i've recently discovered new music and can't seem to get enough of these bands:

(in no particular order)
the submarines
the weepies
joseph arthur
athlete
aqualung
perishers
the feeling
stereophonics
travis
great lake swimmers
do make say think

thailand

the alignment of the stars is in my favor...next monday, i'm flying to thailand with my friend nami, for one week of sweet rest and relaxation. oh yes, i am itching to have the time and space to read, write, veg, yoga, swim, hike, kayak and chill.

jeju-do

it has been years, and i do mean, YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRRSSSS, since my family has had a vacation together. the last time we traveled together was to my brother's graduation in 2003, 5 years ago. and while it was nice to see pomona's beautiful campus and to hear my brother speak (he's good, REAL good!) at his commencement ceremony, it wasn't necessarily a vacation.

now, jeju-do is a tropical island south of korea's peninsula. it's labeled as THE honeymoon destination--it's true, you can spot the newlyweds in their matching (barf) "couple" outfits--due to its beautiful beaches and close proximity to seoul--it takes only an hour to fly to jeju. my parents locked us into a guided tour, which, we the children at first scoffed. luckily, it turned out to be quite enjoyable. our tour guide was animated, we ate tasty meals and while some of the spots we visited were a bit overrated, i was with my family and that's all that mattered.

we've arrived to jeju-do airport, ji hong maps it out:

clear blue water, refreshing air:

jin with the most common jeju statue:

our hotel:

ji hong asleep, mom chuckling:

brother perfects the asian squat:

topiary admiration:

dad hams it up, for real!

the chongs:

blue skies, palms:

sunny day, sweaty hike:

we three, adopt the korean serious expression:

we three, reveal our true selves:

on the road again:

beachside, dusk:

relativity

i've been thinking recently about happiness and how relativity plays are a tricky part in that state of being. i'm trying to teach my students how to become more articulate, opinionated thinkers. i've tried to illustrate the importance of weighing both sides of the issue/question and then supporting their opinions with confident examples. "just because," i'm not sorry, is not a good enough answer. and so, i'm applying the same thought process to my own issues and questions, but, relativity complicates matters.

my job has become a major source of frustration, angst, and annoyance. i work hard at it, preparing, planning, doing. it wears me down, i'm starting to burn the fuck out. and just when i think i've run empty on motivation, i have the most amusing and heartwarming moments with my students that remind me of why i do what i do. for the laughs, for the unpredictable connections the students have with me, with each other. that, my friends, is the icing on the cake, the cream of the crop, the wacka wacka wacka. but, is it worth it in these circumstances? relatively speaking...

i'm beginning to contemplate my options. i dislike feeling like i'm losing sight of the reasons why i came to korea. last night, for the first time in weeks, i opened up my korean books and studied. it felt great! as i was getting ready to go to bed, (at 4am) i got the sudden urge to study and it felt incredible to actually DO it instead of only thinking about it. (then i wonder, am i just a lazyass for not making myself study at other times?!) i'm recognizing, yet again, to take control of my actions and own up to my choices with kindness, patience, and determination.

feeling crusty and it ain't pretty

rar! i'm feeling crusty. i feel bloated, gassy, tired, and cranky. yep. i'm in a real debbie downer sort of mood right now. i've also been prepping for my classes for the last 2 hours. am i finished? nope. will i finish tonight? hell no. why? it's effin 3:45am. my tired whiny ass is going to bed. sleep well my lovelies.

we are family!

i love my family! my family came to visit south korea for a two week touring extravaganza. they explored seoul, daegu, jeju island, suwon, pyeongchon, and beyond. it was wonderful, fantastic, hilarious, and enlightening to be in their company. and when they left, my apt felt empty, my heart, a bit heavy. i am already looking very forward to my visit home, holidays 2008.
sibling subway entertainment:

suwon walk and talk:

older sister lends her back:

sister legs:

chew on this: (my cousin once removed and aunt)

my beautiful mother and 3 of her 5 lovely sisters:

chongs, karaoke style:

last days

the last day of classes are usually more laid back--shoot! it's the last day! say kimchi!
troublemaker harry and silly sam (jongha in the background):

albert and samuel:

harry, making a silly face and ryan, laughing:

my students were brown nosing me in hopes of getting a higher test score:

sarah, jennifer, tina, linda and mary:

buh-bye, buh-bye now:

m.i.a.

too many ongoings and not enough time have made me m.i.a. but not for long. a slew of updates a brewing...