holy middle school

in korea, middle school begins not at grade 6, but grade 7. last term, when my students told me they were in 6th grade, i thought there were in middle school, but they were actually in elementary. because of this, it came as a surprise to me when my coworkers told me that they felt like they had to pull teeth to get their middle school students to talk because my "middle school" students on the other hand, were so energetic and talkative, sometimes a bit too much! i couldn't understand the stark contrast. i realized my error about mid-term, about a month after i began teaching. still, i didn't fully understand what my coworkers meant, until...

hello new term. hello actual middle school students. hello holy awkwardness. now, i can see the full picture.

first of all, middle school students seem to intuitively know how to perfectly divide the room in half by gender. my elementary students also divide by gender, but they do so in clusters, so it doesn't seem so obvious. for my middle schoolers, it's like there's a line of tape on the floor to mark boys sit here, girls on the other. i find it pretty amusing.

secondly, their awkwardness makes me feel awkward too! yikes! i feel like i'm being harshly judged by their silence. however, first impressions can often be misleading. and thankfully, that has been the case for me...at least, so far. while my classes may begin quietly, i've gotten my classes to smile and laugh, at least once! phew!

24

the past 24 hours have been uber stressful. last night, yes, the night before classes of the second term began, i found out that i was scheduled to teach a program that i've not had any training in whatsoever. not a lick. wtf?!?! needless to say, i've been a bit frazzled about it all. not very go with the flow of me, but, shoot. what the hell?

thankfully, i have comforting friends as coworkers and they were able to help me smooth out my stress the night before. but, tonight, a few minutes before class began, i could feel myself falling apart. literally. my computer wouldn't let me access the files i needed for my first class, then when i could access the mp3s, i couldn't play them. rah! being home is the sweetest relief. that and choco pie.

the end of my first term

this past saturday, i taught the final class of my first term of work as an english instructor in korea. unfortunately, there is no room for breaks, the next term begins on monday. with the exception of one class, i happen to be teaching a program that is new to me--no more classes focusing on memorization--that concentrates on listening and speaking skills. i'll be teaching higher level students which i look forward to, hopefully there will be less disciplinary situations, but i am a bit nervous that since my students will be in that awkward middle school stage, i'll hear only crickets chirping.

my speaking and writing class was my favorite class to teach. i know that as a teacher i'm not supposed to play favorites, but there was such a vibrant energy in this particular class, that it never really ever felt like "work." yes. that good. this is how i'd love every class to be: fun, engaging, and memorable.
sonya:

eddie giving billy bunny ears:

our class! say kimchi!

dr. fish

doctor fish work here:

nami's feet get the treatment:
i especially love kevin's expression!

doctor fish:

koreans love spas. koreans love clean skin. koreans love to drink. where can you go and do all three? aha! in pyeongchon, there's a bar where you can drink and get a foot spa by "doctor fish," little fish that clean your feet. it's as weird yet strangely intriguing as you think it seems!

what is dr. fish?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_fish

originally used in turkish spas to treat psoriasis ailments, doctor fish spas have opened in japan, china, singapore and korea. these little guys literally eat your dead skin, leaving your feet feeling ultra smooth and tingly. it's so bizarre! the other night when a group of us went out for drinks, we went to a bar called danke where you can throw back shots of soju then give a feast to these little fishies.

i was at first very apprehensive about it all. i have ticklish feet and quite honestly, the thought of fish eating my dead skin sounds absolutely disgusting. DISGUSTING. but shoot. you gotta try quirky things like this at least once! so i timidly stuck my finger into the pool and yelped like a scaredy cat when the first fish took a nibble. i immediately withdrew my finger out of the water and was impressed when my co-workers stuck their entire feet, shin deep into the water. oh my grossness! those bad boys were going to town and i mean TO TOWN! i could hardly stand one fish bite, how could they tolerate a dozen, 20, 30 fish on their feet?!?!?! awwaagrrrghghhhh!

like a champ, i challenged my fear and stuck my feet into the pool...but, as you can guess, i didn't last long! it felt like a cat was licking the bottom on my feet, but it wasn't just one cat, it was at least 10 cats, 10 cat tongues! then 20...and i got the heebie jeebies. fish are eating my skin! what?!?! i was instructed to try to relax--relax? how can you relax when you're watching fish eat your feet?!?--and luckily there was a tv to distract my attention away from these so called doctor fish.

on my second go, i surprisingly spent about 10-15 minutes in the pool, and was indeed able to relax. it's a really crazy feeling to be able to feel the suction and nibbling on your skin, but when there's a non-stop nibble-fest, it's oddly calming.
one fish, two fish, 30 fish, doctor fish.

peanuts and walnuts

february 21 according to the lunar calendar, is january 15th. and it is on that day that koreans remember to eat peanuts and walnuts. it is korean custom to chomp down on the nuts because it is supposed to bring you good teeth, good skin and general good health overall. i was introduced to this custom the other day at my korean academy. at the reception area, there was a tray of peanuts and walnuts that beckoned me to eat them. (free food is universal!) while i was chomping on some walnuts, the head instructor asked me why i eat nuts in korean. and in korean i replied, "because they're good to eat!" she laughed heartily and explained the custom. when you have a limited vocabulary, it's the simple answers that are the most fun.

something's gotta give

i feel very disconnected with myself these days. i've put myself in a schedule, that is what i want to be doing, but, maybe not in the most healthy way. things feel burdensome, i'm not sleeping enough, i'm getting sick (bah!!!!) and while i want to do everything, i think something's gotta give. i'm trying to figure out how to make it work, how to balance, how to re-center.

i miss leisure time, time to knit, read, write and shoot! watch movies. somehow, everything has become a chore. what happened? what has suddenly made me feel so disenchanted?

white house

last night during class, we read a passage about a man with a deadly disease that made him act crazy and howl like a monkey. it was definitely a bizarre story and it fit the mood of the class, every student acted strange and a.d.d. this is usually my best class! the erratic behavior is most likely linked with the fact that they've just graduated from elementary school and this is the last week of the term. great. they don't care about class and honestly, i don't blame them. shoot! i'm tired too!

anyway, the story about the crazy man created a discussion about where the crazies in korea go. i learned last night that the mental hospital in korea is called a "white house." ha! i informed my students that in america, the white house is where the president lives and laughed out loud as the white house's definition in korea could also, in this case, apply to the states too. get it? w is crazy!

one of my students, sonya told me that she wants obama to win the vote because, get this. he's so handsome. oh brother!

the year of the rat

welcome to the year of the rat. my dad was born in the year of the rat, and it seems exquisitely fitting that it will be during his chinese zodiac year, that he returns to visit korea, for the first time since he left, some 24 years ago. my family will visit in may, and i am already itching with excitement to see them, to see how my dad reacts to seeing korea, his family and friends after such a long time!

lunar new year was celebrated on february 7th and this is probably the biggest national holiday in korea, next to chusok, thanksgiving. i had three days off in a row--holy sweetness!--and i took advantage by visiting relatives outside of seoul. i rode the bus to yoeju, my dad's hometown, with friends of the family, eun eh and her mother. the bus terminal was packed with others ready to return home for the holiday, it was bustling and overwhelming!

yoeju, is a town that is known for it's ceramics and rice. their mascot is actually a grain of rice! on lunar day, i met with my dad's side of the family, my great uncle and my cousins once removed. it was a really nice time. i was nervous because of the language barrier, but, with hand motions and writing down numbers, communication: success! i visited with my dad's side of the family and also close family friends. it was nice to veg out, relax, watch movies, and eat, eat, eat!

mandu: dumplings filled with kimchi and meat:


eun eh and her grandmother making the mandu:


my great uncle and his family: 4 sons (-one son who is taking the photo + one wife and their child), his wife (in pink!) on lunar day:


food! yummers!


playing yut, a traditional new year holiday game:


at king sejong's palace:




eun-eh, aiming for the bucket:
(this is also a traditional korean lunar new year game.)

updates, uploads and more...

i know, i know. it's been a while and much has happened in the last couple of weeks. it seems that things (life, life, LIFE!) have speed ahead in full swing with little room for sleep, much less, journal, blog, or simply sit down without thinking about what else has to be done. perhaps i'm being a tad bit melodramatic, however, until my mind and body adjust to this new schedule of mine, (wake up at 8-8:30ish to be at the subway by 9, to commute into the city for my 10 o'clock korean class. return home by 1, prep, study, eat lunch, on m-w-f's work out at the gym--yay! i've joined a gym and running has never felt better!--and be to work by 4. work for 6 hours, grab dinner with friends and co-workers, back at home, finish prepping, studying, complete korean homework, practice guitar, and aim to be in bed by 2am. now, THAT was a mouthful!) my brain feels scattered and disheveled. my house looks like i feel! piles and piles of things in various states of completion--folded laundry that needs to be put away, piles of recyclables to take out, stacks of books to read, a bunch of letters to write (my pen-pal lovelies! correspondence is on its way to you, i promise!) and unfinished knit goods to resume. and yet, i feel good! my 3 month slump has given way to a hectic 4th month, one where i'm feeling more empowered, fatigued, and content.

the other day, i uploaded close to 300 photos...dang! note to self, don't do that again. it was a long process! more stories and photographs appearing soon! for real. fo'sho!

2 to the 9

a bounty of gifts:

2 to the 9:

a piece for you, a piece for me:

monkey helps celebrate my day of birth:

start here

i've recently encountered more than one sentimental-little-engine-that-could-believe-in-yourself-new-agey-but-
still-inspiring written passages and i wonder if this is the universe's way of telling me to not give up. not that i would really ever give up, but, in my current state of welcomed apathy, i've been a bit of a brooder, a moody prone to quick bouts of slightly destructive tendencies edgier version of myself. i am thankful for my own space to be whatever i feel.

my sad homesickness has turned it's beautiful ugly head towards the antisocial variety. instead of overly concerning myself with what others are doing and thinking, i've smartly chosen to focus on what i need/want to do. let me tell you folks, this is a very energy zapping and draining procedure. especially, since i am the type of person who lets one question transform itself into a myriad of other thought provoking, challenging questions. it's like a mental choose your own adventure story--only graciously, the survival rate is 100 percent in my favor. i'm not going to suddenly decide to go right at the fork in the road and die.

it's a very frustrating, annoying, enlightening, humorous experience to be a korean american in korea. for once in my life, i'm not asked the most banal question that is often thwarted in my face in the united states: where are you from? holyshitballs! i am actually in the motherfuckin majority. wow! wtf?!?! i am surrounded by other black haired (you would not believe how radical some of the hairstyles are here...metrosexuals in the states have absolutely nothing on korean men!) short, (the tall koreans really stick out!) stylish, koreans. it's an incredible feeling to seem this completely anonymous. on the other hand, when i open my mouth, now, that's a whole'nother ball park. and it's disgustingly full of hypocrisy, ignorance and stupidity.

fear is an awful reason to not do something you want to do. we have the ability to be the forces and agents of our own change. my, that is an amazing discovery. as an american, i know that i have the privilege to say that. and furthermore, as an american, i very much welcome that take charge mentality. (and whether we are fully conscious or not of our decisions, we make many choices everyday) ghandi did in fact say, be the change you want to see. by coming to korea, i made that change for myself and will hopefully have the courage to keep taking risks. of course, all of this is easier said than done and there are days when picking myself up from the depths of self doubt feels like the hardest thing i've ever done.

koreans often say, "oh my! what's wrong with you? why is your korean so terrible?" or "you're korean! you should really learn to speak korean fluently!" uh, tell me something i don't already know, okay mister?!?! the hypocrisy of it all though, is that if you're korean and can speak english and korean fluently, you're a rockstar. however, if you happen to be korean-american with less than ideal korean skills, you're like the blackest sheep of the all dominating ethnocentric korean family. i used to harbor korean language guilt, which allowed me to feel free to speak grammatically botched spanish and italian but i became mute around koreans. it's so disheartening to speak korean and have the utmost desire to improve, yet strangers (of course, men mostly) scold me for my limited vocabulary. my american boldness wants to stomp their words with my own more powerful ones, but i've learned that more often than not, it's my own breath i'd be wasting. so i'm saving it for a later time.

i've been thinking quite a bit about what i'm doing: working, teaching, learning, dreaming. i realize that i've been misdirecting my energy, going with whatever, rather than being selective. reading passages from work related materials has re-inspired me to continue to take life with its fullness and richness, by the balls. start here.