b-a-n-a-n-a-s!

this past weekend, i went to nyc to visit my broski and friends before i leave the states in exactly one week. 7 days. 168 hours. (that shit is bananas!) i took the greyhound, which is usually a relatively pain-free way to travel. bah! this time, not so much. on the way to nyc from bmore, the 12:30 bus was a no show. everyone boarded the 2:20 bus instead which arrived into port authority at 7:30. ridonkulous. luckily, i was greeted by my brother and his gf, alison, at a fabulous greek restaurant called kefi on the upper west side. culinary delights make me happy!

my nyc visits are guaranteed to contain good food, amazing friends, smiles and laughs galore. this visit was no exception. for halloween, my brother was dressed as a banana. yes. a banana. it was hilarous! at his friend's party, he became known as and referred to simply as "banana." as a matter of fact, when i joined him at the party, i asked someone if they've seen a banana, and she told me, "yes! he's sitting on the couch." my brother's a banana, b-a-n-a-n-a!

my little black book

is special. it was given to me by kathi, who appreciates and shares my affinity for the ever dynamic word. it was a sad day for me in auckland, new zealand when i realized i lost my address book with five years worth of contacts, so this brand new shiny one makes me smile!

leaving on a jet plane...

i did it! after days of mulling it over, waiting until the waiting got to be too much, i finally booked my one way ticket. i fly to south korea on november 5th and i am eerily calm about it all. i think that's a good thing. a very good thing, indeed. for those keen on finding the best airline deals--and who doesn't want that? seriously?!--check out mobissimo.com and bookingbuddy.com.

so, wtf is going on, right? let me break it down in list w/ corresponding explanations, form:

1) i am going to korea to find a job teaching english. this is something i've been wanting to do for a while, so, hell's yeah to doing it, and doing it and doing it well! (what up llcoolj?!)

2) why teaching? why korea? i'm bored and limited with my options here in the states. i don't want to work in an office or restaurant. i don't want to be in childcare or pet-walking, or retail or insert any other meaningless job here. and i honestly can say that, especially since i've done all of those things! the times that i've taught/tutored, i've really enjoyed, whether it was teaching a friend how to throw a frisbee, how to knit, or how to read. there's a reciprocal effort that is incredibly rewarding. why korea? oh yes. this is a loaded question, but suffice it to say that i'm ready to learn about korea and what better way to learn about a place than by osmosis? full immersion baby. yes. i am that hardcore.

3) i'll be staying with my college friend, theresa, who is also (no surprise) teaching english. and, i may even find a job at her company! while i continue to search and apply to jobs, i'll check out different neighborhoods in seoul, hear snidbits of conversation which i hope to understand, and probably look like a deer caught in headlights. real attractive.

meanwhile, i'm gathering loose ends here. i'm cleaning house--need to pick up the pace! man, i have way too much crap!--and knitting, wondering and wandering, and listening to some damn good music! my latest faves (cd's given to me by my kickass friend kathi): damien jurado, mogwai, +/-, the album leaf and sigur ros. i'm going to nyc this weekend to vist my brother and friends and the next post will include some images, fo'real. this bloggie blog needs some mother effin photos!

overheard on the street

i went for a run yesterday, (almost 6 miles! yay!) and i ran past a group of girls sitting close to the sidewalk. i was at a good pace, not too fast, not too slow, enjoying the autumnal weather when i overheard one of them say, "she looks like she'd kick your ass!" nice. ha! that's right i'll kick yo ass! kidding, kidding. what an awesome random compliment.

stall

i'm not the most confident stick shift driver so this analogy may be more on point than i had originally imagined. picture this: you're in first gear, stopped on an ever so slight hill, the incline is not enough to give you the sweats about stalling, but enough to force your left foot steady on the clutch and right foot on the brake. luckily, no one is behind you as you begin to release the clutch while simultaneously pressing the gas pedal. you can feel the car shake a little as you realize you're feet aren't in sync and you overcompensate for it by jerking the car (giving yourself multiple miniature whiplashes) forward. yes. that's how i feel right now. in that in between, jerking forward, drifting back, trying to find the balance of optimum smooth.

luckily, i know where i'm going, it's just how and when i'll get there that's to be decided. for the past year now, i've known that i've wanted to go to korea, to teach english, to learn korean, to learn more about the culture, to travel, to explore, to save the ca-zash. (shoot! maybe even meet someone extraordinary...say what, say what, anything can happen.) i feel like i've been in this stalled space, overwhelmed by the possibilities that i've become paralyzed by my options and my fears. fortunately, i'm shifting more towards excitement and open-ness than retreat into scary-ville. good news, i've narrowed down the list of places to live. i want to be in seoul.

my dad called me the other day and asked what i was doing. i think i perplex my parents. i know they are concerned about me, want to make sure that i'm okay--funny, how i think their idea of "okay" greatly differs from my idea of okay.--and things are for the most part, fine. but i'm not content with fine. fine is boring. fine is status quo. fine is laaaaaaaaaame. but fine is also safe and sometimes fun and comfortable. but, i'm not happy, not as happy as i know i want to be and that, is not fine.

so i'm taking this risk and putting myself out there and realizing it's only as scary as i allow it to become. breathe in the fear, breathe out the calm, stall no more.

on becoming

these past few weeks, even months, i've been contemplating buddhist philosophies and becoming "comfortable with uncertainty," as pema chodron states. i've definitely noticed a shift in my thought patterns and am feeling much more confident in listening to my own voice--i'm currently reading siddhartha--and while it's sometimes difficult to maintain it, my voice and my breath, literally and figuratively, are perhaps the most elementally important things in my life.

these days, i'm focusing on listening to myself and having the courage to do the things i say i want to do without excuses, without creating self imposed blockages, and simply doing. when i want to sketch, do it. when i want to run, do it. when i want to do nothing, do absofuckinlutely nothing. maybe even allow myself times to do nothing more.

joy joy dc joy

dc continues to surprise me with its pockets of joy. this weekend was full of them. friday night: florida avenue grill. my favorite breakfast spot with soul is open 'til 4am late on fridays and saturdays. typically late night munchies include grease. think pizza, french fries, but how about butter? hmmmm? yeah, buttery sweet pancakes devoured and savored after a night of drinking and dancing (at the wonderland) hits the spot. plus the vibe is so chill and inviting. when jau and i were about to leave, they were playing a song with a good beat, my feet started moving. the staff began encouraging me to dance so i shimmy shimmied in the walkway. next thing you know, he put on beyonce and i had to sing a long! mmkay, beyonce, work it girl, to the left!

saturday morning, i rode my bike through georgetown--let's face it, that place is best in passing.--over the key bridge and into arlington to andy's house. it took about 1/2 hour, i had no idea how close the two areas were to each other. often times i turn my nose up to virginia--sum it up to bad experiences in that state and furthermore, i'm a maryland girl!--but i have to say, i was really happy to be in virginia, hiking along the river on such a picture perfect autumnal day with my good friend. it was just awesome.



sunday: i met amber at so's your mom in adams morgan for breakfast before venturing to crafty bastards land. when she saw me, she called out to me, "hey sweet ride!" i love that my friends know my bike by name! so's your mom: it had been at least a year since i ate their cheese and egg croissant sandwich. on man. it was cheesy eggy goodness! (i love egg!) amber and i meandered around the booths and lamented for the good ole days when the bastards were more local and less corporate. shiiiit. this year, they had scion, paper source, whole foods, zipcar and etsy as their sponsors. to their credit, local sponsors, stitch dc, adobe design pinz-n-needlez tatto, and the dog spot represented dc. is this what getting older is going to be like, the whole "when i was your age" or "remember when" nostalgia hubbalaboo? or is it more that when things are new and budding (like the bastards fair or the resurgence of crafts in general) there's an energy that is irreplaceable but easily romanticized in subsequent events?

late sunday night: for as much as i love dancing, i can't believe after 4 years of living in dc, that last night was the first time i went to dancing at eighteenth street lounge. it's a bit late--jau, tom, and i got there around midnight.--but totally amazing! i didn't know what to expect so i was silly smiling when i saw people dancing, all kinds of dancing, flailing arms, fast shuffle feet, hips left and right, spinning, reverse spinning, kick ball chain, hop hop hop. it was so so kickass! and there was room to move! but more than the dancing was the energy: safe, welcoming, geniuine, hellafun! no one tried to dance all sketchy with me and the random guy i did dance with was so great! dancing with him was like a frickin aerobic workout! hoo-ha! house music in the house.

joy and joyness.